


7-Minute Peepshow

by imaginethat_peepshow



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, Fanart, Heavy Drinking, Heavy Petting, Spin the Bottle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-06 02:00:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 21,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16822882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginethat_peepshow/pseuds/imaginethat_peepshow
Summary: A hilarious game of spin the bottle including many captains and lieutenants of the Gotei 13.





	1. Rangiku x Ikkaku

The Seireitei, like any military operation, is not a quiet place. Soldiers of all ranks have a penchant for drinking, gambling, and otherwise partying themselves silly in their limited free time. High-stress jobs will do that to you. In all the history of drinking, gambling, and otherwise partying themselves silly in the Seireitei, there is one party that lives in infamy above all others.

The party in question, thrown by none other than Lieutenant Rangiku Matsumoto, began as a casual gathering of all most of the Captains and Lieutenants, with few grand expectations. Recent tumultuous events left the officers in need of a bit of grounding, a chance to re-establish the order so lost to them.

At first, this goal seemed well in reach. An uneventful dinner and a couple rounds of drinks over conversation pointed toward an easy evening. But somehow, a couple drinks turned into a few… and a few turned into several… and several turned in to lost count and soon joking and laughter overtook professional talking.

Somewhere between Ikkaku and Renji’s arm wrestling contest and Mashiro’s third bout of drunken singing, Rangiku drained a bottle of sake directly into her mouth. She wiped her lips on the back of her hand and examined the bottle. Her eyes then turned to the room full of smiling and blissfully uninhibited officers around her.

“Oh my gosh, you guys!” She stood up, pointing excitedly at the bottle in her hand. “I just remembered- I can’t believe I forgot- I’ve been dying to try this- I just- We should play seven minutes in heaven!”

“Eee! Yes!” Mashiro squeaked in agreement.

“Never heard of it.” Ikkaku drained another glass.

“I heard about it in the World of the Living.” Rangiku explained, clearing the large table.

“Heaven? Do they mean the Soul Society?” Nemu asked.

“World of the Living?” Mayuri snatched the bottle from her hand, examining it closely. “Humans manage to travel to the Soul Society through use of an empty bottle? I’ve never heard of such a thing.” He peered down the opening with one eye.

“No, no.” She sighed, grabbing the bottle back. “It’s just a saying.” It took some time, but she managed to wrangle everyone into spots around the table. “Now, let’s see…” She slid open a closet door. “Yeah, this will work!” She pulled out a kotatsu and shoved it aside. “Now…” She placed the bottle in the middle of the table and gave it a spin. It whirled in place, clacking musically against the wood surface. Silence fell over the party, the uninformed holding their breath, waiting for something to happen. Finally, it came to a stop. All eyes turned to Ikkaku.

“Nothing’s happening?” He looked at Rangiku.

“Come on.” She grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into the closet. “I’ll keep time~!” Mashiro sang. Once the door closed, he looked around the small space expectantly. It was a tight space, big enough for them to sit, but not to lie down.

“Nothing’s happening?” Ikkaku said again.

“What happens is up to us.” She explained. “We’re in here for the next seven minutes. We can do whatever we want.”

“Ok…?” His eyes narrowed.

“Whatever. We. Want.” She tried again.

“Oh… OH!” At last, he understood.

“So…?” She smiled coyly.

“No one will find what we do, right?” He tried to restrain his growing excitement.

“That’s the idea.” She winked. “But I’m sure they’ll assume the worst.”

“Then please.” He dropped to his knees, hands offered in prayer to Rangiku, the goddess of tits and wine that she was. “Can I please motor boat you?!”

“Hahaha!” She threw her head back laughing. “Well I should have seen that coming.” She wiped a tear from her eye. “I guess so.” She shrugged her shihakusho off her shoulders.

“No wonder they call it heaven…” Ikkaku’s fingers twitched with excitement as he drank the view of her bare chest. He seized a handful of her flesh in each hand, buried his face between her breasts… and blew the biggest motorboat he possibly could. Rangiku squealed with laughter, falling back against the wall.

“What?” He lifted his head, but somehow forgot to remove his hands.

“It tickles.” She continued to giggle.

“Tickles?” He raised an eyebrow.

“What, you don’t think it feels funny?” She tugged his shirt open, futilely trying to motorboat his pecks. She did succeed in making him laugh just as hard as she was. They spent the rest of their seven minutes clutching their stomachs from laughter pains and holding the walls for support.


	2. Renji x Lisa

“Alright, ok, ok.” Rangiku clamored out of the closet, wiping more tears from her eyes. “Who’s next?” Giggles were still remnant in her voice. “Play continues to the left, right? So Renji!”

“I don’t get the point of this game.” He said.

“Just spin the bottle.” She gestured.

“Ok…” He reached and gave the bottle an unenthusiastic flick. It barely made a full circle before stopping.

“Oooooh.” Mashiro teased. “Renji’s gotta go in with Lisa~”

“I still don’t understand the game!” Renji protested as Lisa shoved him into the closet, a dark smirk on her lips. “What is the point?” He demanded once they were alone.

“Unless you can get off in seven minutes or less, it’s a game of who can give the worst blue balls.” She explained. Renji stared at her, uncomprehending, though his face turned red. “So… can you?” She cocked an eyebrow at him, placing her hands on the wall behind him.

“What? No!” He tried to retreat, but had nowhere to go.

“Uhg, that’s right.” She rolled her whole head and stepped back. “You’re got a girl now, don’t you?”

“Th-that’s not even the point.” He struggled.

“It doesn’t have to be so serious.” She said. “Think of it as practice. Isn’t there anything you’ve wanted to try with her but you’re worried you’ll screw it up?”

“I… uh… well…” The words wouldn’t come. He’d said them before, talking rough with other guys, but saying them to Captain Yadomaru was too much. “I never know what to do… with my tongue when we make out.” He admitted.

“Ah. Easily fixed.” Lisa pushed him down to a seated position and climbed on his lap. She locked him into a kiss before he could protest any further.

After only a few seconds she stopped. “What, you don’t know what to do with your hands either?” She grabbed both of his wrists and placed one of his hands on her breast and the other on her ass. He shut his eyes and pretended he was somewhere else, with someone else… with anyone else but Captain Yadomaru. It did the trick to his drunken mind.

At first it was all he could do to keep up with her. Lisa’s tongue pushed past his lips to find his. She tasted like sake, he probably did too. Then he pushed back, running his tongue along the points of her teeth and daring to bite at her lips. Their heads twisted back and forth, exploring every angle they could. Renji’s hands wandered, slipping under her shirt and rubbing the curves of her hips. She shifted in his lap, her pelvis grinding in to his. He went so far as to tweak one nipple with his fingers, and to tease the folds of her entrance through the fabric of her pants.

There was a sharp rap at the door.

“Time’s up, kiddos!” Rangiku called. “Get your clothes back on!” They broke away, breathless. Lisa untangled herself from Renji’s lap with sudden coldness.

“You.” She tugged her shirt back into place. “Do not need practice.”


	3. Shuhei x Isane

Drivership of the bottle passed to Shuhei next. His limbs were weak from laughing and clumsy from sake. His hand glanced against the bottle, sending it spinning and sliding nearly off the table. Isane was too distracted at first to notice it pointing to her, caught in a fit of laughter of her own.

“Go on, now.” Rangiku clapped her hands excitedly. The two of them were still chortling when the closet door closed on them.

“Well, this game seems right up your alley.” Isane recovered first. “

What’s that supposed to mean?” Shuhei scoffed.

“Oh please.” She rolled her eyes. “I know you’re a closet perv.”

“… Closet?” He gestured to their surroundings. They both laughed uproariously, clutching the walls for support. “So, you looking to find out for yourself?” His smooth remark was perforated with laughter. Isane looked at him, trying her best to look unamused, but her pink cheeks betrayed her.

“Oh, why not?” She sighed. Shuhei grinned and grabbed her playfully by the hips. She responded with a tight-lipped smirk of her own. Before laughter could take them again, they leaned in. Their mouths didn’t seem to fit, stretched tight over their smiles. That didn’t stop Shuhei from pulling her snug against his hips. It didn’t stop her hands roaming his muscled chest. They twisted and turned, breaking contact in brief seconds of remnant laughter made worse by their wandering hands. Isane was the one who deviated from their pedestrian kiss. She gave the slightest nip at his lower lip as their heads twisted to the other side. He could have believed it was an accident if not for the mischievous glint in her eye and the coy shift of her pelvis.

“You’re a closet perv too!” He accused, ‘accidentally’ sliding his hands down around the curve of her backside.

“Who’s going to believe you?” She slipped one finger under his choker and pulled him back in. This time the kiss was real, their lips molding heavily together. He pushed her against the wall, driving one knee between her legs. She raked her teeth over his lip. One of his hands made its way up to her neck, putting the slightest pressure to mirror her hold on him. She shuddered at his touch, allowing him to bite her back with bruising force.

“That’s time!” Mashiro called. The door flew open just as the two sprang away from each other.


	4. Kensei x Nanao

Kensei gave the bottle neck a flick with one finger. _Please don’t be Mashiro._ He prayed silently as it twirled. _Please don’t be Lisa._

For a second it appeared his fears would be realized, the bottle slowed to a crawl in front of Mashiro, panned to Lisa… and stopped at Nanao. _Oh thank god._ He disguised a sigh of relief. Of all the people in the room, Nanao was most likely to go seven minutes without harassing him in one way or another.

“Oooohh, have fun, Captain!” Mashiro sang. “Behave yourself.”

“Yes.” Kyoraku piped in. “For your own safety, please do.”

“Tch.” Kensei held the door open for Nanao and ducked in after her. He sank heavily to the floor with his back against one wall. Nanao settled quietly across from him.

“So.” She began calmly. “I understand you’ve played this game before?”

“… yeah.” He admitted. “When we were in the World of the Living, we’d get bored and drunk and do all kinds of stupid things.” He scratched his head. “Although when we played, the time limit was a lot longer than seven minutes.” Nanao’s eyes got wide and her glasses slipped down her nose.

“I see.” She said. After a long pause she cleared her throat and continued. “I suppose it was quite lonely at times, being isolated like that.”

“Sometimes.” Kensei considered. “But I could seriously do without this game as an antidote.”

“I see.” Nanao repeated, turning her face.

“Why… do you look disappointed?” He regarded her with confusion.

“Huh?” She stiffened. “Don’t be silly. This is a juvenile game, you’re absolutely right, though it does present a certain kind of liberating paradox.” She babbled.

“Do you want to make out?” He asked plainly.

“Yes.” She squeaked.

“Ok then.” He leaned forward, elbows on knees, to meet her in the middle of the tiny closet. She swallowed hard and shifted closer until their knees touched. Her lips were thin, but soft against his, and they trembled with every little movement. She was a hive of nervous rigidity. As his mouth worked against hers, he felt the tension slowly melt away. First, her jaw unclenched, allowing her lips to match pace with him. Then her neck relaxed, bobbing with the twisting motions he initiated. Next her shoulders softened, releasing her weight to lean into the kiss. Finally her diaphragm unwound, pushing ragged breaths from her mouth. Despite all this, her brow cinched into a hard line. Something had to hold her together. Even Kensei could tell she was coming undone. If she relaxed any more, she’d fall into his lap. Or maybe she’d melt into a puddle on the floor. Part of him wanted to see. They didn’t get to find out.

“Times up!” Rangiku rapped at the door. Nanao sat up and straightened her glasses.

“I can understand why you may have wanted more than seven minutes.” She ceded, her face flushing red.


	5. Byakuya x Mashiro

Byakuya had enough to drink to see the humor in this little game. It was a clever trap, really. What was assumed of the people in the closet was completely up to the individual. Those outside could choose to assume the worst of their comrades, or to assume nothing happened at all. And the observer had no other truth except the one they invented in their own mind. The only fallout would occur if one of the two parties in the closet chose to gossip. But even then, it was one word against another, and the observers would still rather believe their own truth.

All this he sorted out in his head long before it was his turn, so he spun the bottle without hesitation. The room fell silent. It happily ran its loops and slowed to a halt in front of Mashiro. All of a sudden the room was full of noise again. Mashiro squealed with glee, not even aware of who spun the bottle in the first place. Everyone else snapped back to their revelry, though they watched him out the corners of their eyes.

“Be gentle, Mashiro.” Rangiku waved and shut the door on them. Byakuya didn’t have a chance to say a word before Mashiro threw her arms around his shoulders. He caught her in his arms, one under her knees and the other across her back.

“This game is so much fun.” She giggled. “Everyone gets so flustered.”

“That is understandable.” He pointed out.

“Well sure.” She leaned back away from him and nearly hit her head on the wall. “But it doesn’t have to be all scary and serious.”

“Then how do you propose we spend our time?” He asked gently. Mashiro put a finger to her lips and made a show of thinking.

“I know!” She hopped down out of his arms. “Can I play with your hair?” Byakuya couldn’t help but chuckle.

“That would be fine.” He sat on the floor, his long legs barely able to cross in the small space. Mashiro knelt in front of him, staggering her knees around his. She hummed a drunken tune as she ran her fingers through his long hair. He looked up at her smiling face and found himself smiling slightly with her. Her nails brushed pleasantly over his scalp. She was gentle, combing through the locks with her fingers, and winding them between.

His eyes fell to her chest, just inches from his face. The sweet, earthy smell of her skin filled his senses. He felt the sake heavy in his head, made worse by her tender touches. Absently, he traced the line of her breast with one finger, following the curve from her arm under to her center. She stopped.

“Captain.” Her voice was musical, almost teasing. “Do you want to play with my boobs?” He froze, unable to look at her. “It’s ok, you know. I won’t tell.” She giggled and went back to playing with his hair as if nothing happened. He considered for a moment, turning over his previous observations in his head.

Eventually he reached up and cupped one breast in each hand. She giggled again, and he felt her skin ripple through her shihakusho. He ran his thumbs over the swell of her chest, exploring. They were small, but then again so was she. The loose fabric moved with his hands as he massaged her flesh in his palms. He pressed his lips to her skin where the plunge of her collar came to a point on her sternum. This silenced her humming. He trailed kisses down the middle of her chest, between her breasts, until her shirt wouldn’t open any further. His hands moved from fabric to bare skin. Her nipples pulled tight under his fingertips. He took one into his mouth, rolling his tongue around the nub. Her skin tasted as sweet as it smelled. She traded stroking his hair for clutching weak handfuls in her fists. He kissed across her skin to the other side, wrapping his tongue around her other nipple. The wet skin he left behind, he rubbed under his thumb.

“We’re gonna run out of time.” Her voice was small, shaky, and contradictory of her arms holding his head closer. Walking his lips back to her center line, he kissed each inch of her skin before closing her shihakusho behind him.

“Thank you for that, Lieutenant Kuna.” He said quietly, only seconds before Rangiku pounded on the door. Mashiro charged out of the closet.

“You’re such a meanie, Byakuya!” She cried, making a show of pouting and sulking.


	6. Jushiro x Nemu

Jushiro gave the bottle a soft push. It made a couple slow rounds before pointing to Nemu. Her expression didn’t change at all, and their exit to the closet didn’t appear to have any effect at all on the raucous party. So much so that he found himself closing the door himself, as Rangiku was distracted draining another bottle.

He settled himself against the wall. Nemu sat formally across from him, her legs tucked tight under her and her hands folded neatly.

“Sorry you had to get paired with such an old man.” He smiled. “Hopefully when it’s your turn you’ll get a chance to have some fun.”

“On the contrary.” Nemu began, her face expressionless. “Your age doesn’t detract from your appeal at all.”

“Appeal?” He repeated. “Surely you’d rather be in here with one of the younger men.” She thought for a moment.

“Byakuya and Shuhei are the most agreeable.” She decided. “But there’s no point in forgoing the experience completely just because we would not consort naturally.” Her posture relaxed.

“Nemu, please don’t feel obliged to-” He tried, but she was already creeping closer.

“Besides, Master Mayuri would be very disappointed if I did not take advantage of an opportunity to learn new things.” She said, her face so close to his he could feel her breath.

“I don’t think I want him to know what I’m capable of.” Jushiro’s smile widened.

“Maybe I won’t tell him.” She closed the gap between them, lightly kissing his lips while one hand moved slowly up his leg.

“I don’t believe that.” He touched one of the long-hanging locks of her hair, then brushed her cheek with his fingers. She kissed him again, harder this time. Her cold, thin lips were alive with determination. His hand moved around to the back of her neck.

So nimble were her movements that he didn’t register her in his lap until her weight settled on his hips. Her kimono, already much too short, rode up high on her thighs. His free hand touched her bare knee, sliding up her silken skin to her hip. She touched his chest with only her fingertips, tracing the lines of his muscles through the fabric. The movements of her hips seemed accidental at first, but soon the grinding was too marked to be mistaken.

He began to suspect that he was learning more about her than she was about him. It was easy to distract her. Her kisses trailed off when her hands drew low between them, or when his hand threatened to slip under her skirt. Each time she caught herself and redoubled, kissing deeper than she had before.

He wondered.

His hand followed her leg up to her hip, passing under the folds of fabric until he found the line of her underwear with his fingers. She fidgeted, rolling her hips into him without her previous control. His other hand he brought down from her neck, trailing, teasing, down the curve of her back. She lurched forward, pressing her chest against him, and him into the wall. With both hands he grabbed the round flesh of her backside and pulled her hard against him. That was the end of her, she completely forgot about her mouth. He seized the opportunity to run his tongue over her lower lip as slowly as he had run his hand up her leg. She broke away, panting.

“Captain Ukitake, I-” One arm went to the wall, searching for leverage to pull away. He held her tight by the hips, kissing at her neck with painfully slow movements. Rangiku came to her rescue, her light taps sounding like thunder. Jushiro released her, smiling wider than ever. Nemu stared at him, her mask broken with shock.

“So, what will you be telling Captain Kurotsuchi?” He mused. She took a moment to collect herself.

“It seems to me he may not believe the truth.” She said, opening the door.


	7. Momo x Kenpachi

Momo started to blush before her hand even touched the bottle. Her cheeks were already flushed from sake, but the color spread to the corners of her face. Playing this game with the other lieutenants would have been easier. It might even have been fun. But each time the bottle’s nose passed in front of a captain, she felt her stomach flip.

Finally, to her horror, it stopped. Her eyes followed the line up to the scarred face of Captain Zaraki. A small squeak escaped her, drowned out by the noisy party around them. She almost couldn’t make herself move. Kenpachi was in the little closet long before her. He was so tall he couldn’t stand up straight, so he just sat. She had to climb over his crossed legs to sit across from him.

“Now you be nice.” Rangiku pointed a finger at him.

“Yeah!” Mashiro backed her up before the door closed.

“They ain’t gotta tell me.” He lounged back against the wall.

“Huh?” Momo’s skin prickled.

“I ain’t gonna take advantage of a scared little twig like you.” He popped his neck boredly. “You prolly have no clue what to do anyway.”

“I’m not scared.” She declared, shaking. He gave her a skeptical look, is eyes flicking up and down her figure. “And I know what to do!”

“For what?” There was a hint of a chuckle in his voice. “Mousy little thing like you prolly never seen a cock in your life.”

“That isn’t true!” She was standing now, but even so she wasn’t much taller than him. He laughed openly at her. Her whole face burned all the way out to her ears. Plucking up her courage, she closed the distance between them, seized his face in both hands, and planted a hard kiss on his lips. The laughter dropped to a chuckle low in his gut.

“You don’t have to prove anything to me.” He pointed out in a low voice.

“Not to you.” She stated, leaning in again. Their lips were barely locked when he grabbed the backs of her legs in his broad hands. She stumbled until her shins rested on his solid muscled thighs. Their faces were finally level. She worked her lips against the hard lines of his mouth, running her fingers through the shaggy mane of his hair. He barely reciprocated, mocking her earnest efforts. All his energy, it seemed, was in his roaming hands. He felt up her legs, over the curve of her backside, and up her spine. His hands came around her shoulders, reaching for her breasts.

Her nerves got the best of her. She found herself trying to hide them behind her crossed arms. Kenpachi broke away, his annoyed expression only inches from her face. She swallowed hard, weighing the merits of chickening out versus saving her pride. She returned her hands to his shoulders. His wide hands cupped her small breasts, thumbs teasing her nipples. Even through her shihakusho she could feel the hard calluses on his hands. He wasn’t gentle, freely pinching the tender skin and chuckling when she whimpered. One hand trailed lower, stroking her flat stomach, her hipbones, and slipping between her legs to grope her inner thigh. It made her teeth snap together, accidentally trapping his lower lip between them.

“Careful now.” He growled. “Or you’ll get more than you can handle.”

“I’m sorry.” Momo trembled.

“You’re gonna be.” His thick fingers stroked the damp channel between her legs. She bit down on her own lip to stop from squeaking. He pushed in as deep as the fabric barrier would allow. She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. Her eyes cinched shut and her fingers curled around his shoulders, her nails digging in.

“Quit it.” He warned her again.

“This isn’t fair.” She whined.

“You want fair?” Suddenly he grabbed her wrist, forcing her hand against the hard bulge in his pants. She gasped. “You think you can handle fair?”

A knock at the door saved her having to answer. She darted out of the closet, face redder than ever.


	8. Renji x Sui Feng

When it was his turn again, Renji spun with more confidence. Confidence that shattered when the bottle stopped in front of Sui Feng. He glanced at Lisa, with her maniacal smirk. He seriously considered kicking the table, hoping the bottle would shift.

“Have fun.” She waved her fingers darkly.

“Right.” He muttered. Sui Feng was snorting with laughter at something Rangiku said when the closet door closed on them. She continued for some time.

“You know, sober me almost didn’t come tonight.” She wiped her eyes. “But I’ve had such a good time.”

“Sure seems like it.” Renji said nervously.

“But this, this is why I don’t drink much. Sober me hates drunk me. Sober me hates having fun.” She carried on. He laughed noncommittally, knowing better than to answer. Drunk Sui Feng had a better memory than most. “You don’t have to be scared.” She rolled her eyes. “I won’t bite… I mean, unless you’re into that kind of thing.”

“Hah… no, I mean yes but no… hehe no thank you.” There was not enough sake in the whole Seireitei to make him think this was a good idea.

“C’mon.” She whined. “I never get to have any fun. My last turn I got stupid Marechiyo. Even drunk me doesn’t like his stupid face.”

“Well sober you will probably kill me just for being here with you.” He pointed out.

“Oh pft.” She leaned against his chest. He stumbled back into the wall. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” She laughed again.

“Yeah right.”

“Come _on_.” She kissed at his jaw, making exaggerated kissy noises.

“How did this happen again?” He asked himself out loud. “This is a terrible game.”

“Stop being a gentlemen and kiss me, stupid.” She said, the edge of her sober voice coming through. He obeyed, cinching his eyes shut and trying not to imagine the wrath he’d face in the morning. She used handfuls of his shirt for leverage to bring their faces hard together. It took him several seconds to find a safe place for his hands. It was hard to think straight through the sake, and through the intensity of her mouth working against his. Her bare back startled him, sending his hands lower on her hips than he would have liked. She shifted closer, her thin body trapping him against the wall. Releasing his lips, her mouth moved to his neck.

“Wha… what are you doing?” His hand flew to the wall for support.

“Didn’t you say you liked biting?” She sang before sinking her teeth into his neck. He felt the harsh burn of a blush break over his face.

“You are going to kill me.” He insisted.

“So live a little while you can.” She said against his skin, biting down again lower. He bit his lip, his hand tightening on her bony hip. She clamped down lower still, nearly to his collarbone. Her hands travelled lower too, brushing down his chest and abs. Every touch was a confusing mix of terror and arousal. Worst of all when her hands descended way further than he expected.

“Just kill me now.” He cursed as her hand closed around his dick through his shihakusho. She responded by squeezing harder and returning her lips to his. Finally, Rangiku’s rapping at the door came to his rescue. Sui Feng stepped away, only to pin him against the wall again, by his throat this time.

“I won’t kill you for this.” She said lowly. “Unless you tell anyone what happened here. Understand? Breathe a word to anyone and you die.”

“Y-yes Captain.” He choked out.

“You’re such a good sport.” She smiled dangerously and left him with a short peck on the lips.


	9. Rukia x Shuhei

Rukia did her best to mask her uncertainty as she spun the bottle. Everyone was so lighthearted about the matter; there was no reason to be tense. … Right?

She took another gulp of sake before it stopped spinning. Shuhei waved at her from across the table, purposely exaggerating the awkwardness. Rukia let herself join the round of laughter that followed and made her way to the closet.

“Having fun?” Rukia raised an eyebrow at him.

“What, you’re not?” He smirked.

“I didn’t say that.” She sounded more confident than she was.

“Oh yeah?” He leaned down to put his face close to hers. Without thinking, she planted a quick kiss on is curled lips. He recoiled, slamming into the wall behind from surprise.

“Yeah.” She giggled. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” He insisted.

“You boys.” She sighed. “You talk big but when the time comes you’re all shy and flustered.”

“Yeah well you girls act all shy and modest but you turn into damn vixens in the dark!” He retorted.

“Who’s a vixen?” She asked.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Shuhei grumbled. “And I am not flustered!”

“No?” Rukia put her face close to his now, or as close as she could reach at her height. She could feel the heat radiating off of his blush. He tried to pull the same trick, kissing her without warning. She didn’t pull away, though. She pushed it right back until he was against the wall. He flailed for a moment, only to settle with his hands conspicuously low on her hips. She responded by placing her hands conspicuously high on his chest, her fingers playing with the exposed skin.

Tired of straining his neck, Shuhei scooped his hands under her thighs and lifted her to his waist. The kiss deepened, their lips moving in slow rhythm. Rukia’s hands moved up his neck to run through his hair. She ran her tongue along his lower lip and snickered at his startled sounds.

It was when he tried to shift his hands to grope her ass that he dropped her. Rangiku opened the door to find Rukia on the floor red-faced with rage.


	10. Kisuke x Yoruichi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This chapter was a special request from a Tumblr follower and is only tangentially connected to the rest.]

Meanwhile, in the World of the Living…

“God dammit, Yoruichi!” Kisuke threw down his cards. “Again?”

“Take ‘em off.” She twirled her finger at him, sticking her tongue out.

“Uhhhggg.” He stood, undoing his pants and letting them fall to the floor.

“My turn to deal?” She asked brightly, reaching for the deck.

“I have nothing left to bet.” He gestured to his body, naked but for his boxers.

“Sure you do.” She eyed the cotton shorts, still fully clothed herself.

“Nuh-uh.” He declared. “If I wind up naked it better be for a lot more than getting your shirt off.”

“Hey now, I still have a scarf and a jacket to lose before we get anywhere near my shirt.” She teased.

“Oh forget it.” He picked up the sake bottle and drained it into his mouth.

“Aww, Kisuke. Don’t pout.” She dropped the mocking tone. He frowned and reached for another bottle. “Uhg. What’s the point of cheating at cards if you can’t even see the humor?”

“You cheated?!” He roared.

“Obviously. And it was fun until now.” It was her turn to pout. “I didn’t think you were such a sore loser.”

“Take your clothes off and I’ll forgive you.” He ground through his teeth.

“Fine.” She sighed, shedding all but her bra and panties. “Happy?” They glowered at each other from across the table in their respective underwear. They each took a long drink of sake, not breaking eye contact.

“So. Wanna make out like horny teenagers?” Kisuke posed.

“Sure.” Yoruichi agreed boredly. They met on the floor halfway around the table. Their mouths molded together and their tongues entwined before their bodies even settled on the floor. Propped on their sides, they let their hands roam over what bare skin they could reach. Kisuke tried to slip his fingers under the hem at her hips, but she stopped him with a sharp slap on his wrist. She slung her leg over his, pulling their bodies closer together. He grabbed a handful of her ass and closed the gap more still. She nipped at his lower lip and felt the bulge between his legs swell unevenly.

“You’re cheating again.” He complained.

“You like it.” She rolled her eyes and thrust her tongue into his mouth once more. His hand traced up the curve of her spine, pinching the closure of her bra. She smacked him again. He protested by pushing his hips against hers in a needy rhythm.

“Come on.” He whined. “You’re killing me.”

“Oh please, you’re not even half hard.” She grabbed his dick through the cotton of his shorts, only to find it fully erect and throbbing. “Geez.” She recoiled.

“See? You’re the worst best friend ever. You get me drunk and naked and then tease me until I’m sore.” He rolled to his back.

“You’re so pathetic.” Yoruichi stretched as she stood up.

“Hey, where are you going?” His eyes followed her across the room.

“To the bedroom.” She gestured. “We’re not gonna do it out here Tessai might wander in on us.”

“It’s the middle of the night.” Kisuke argued.

“Do you want to fuck or do you want to argue?” Her voice came from halfway up the stairs.

“Ok, ok!” He scrambled to his feet.


	11. Shinji x Unohana

Shinji’s jaw hurt from smiling so wide and laughing so much. Even without Rangiku’s stroke of genius, seeing the other officers so transcendently drunk was the best entertainment he could think of. He blindly turned the bottle with one hand and drained a glass of sake with the other. The result couldn’t have mattered less to him, he was bound for a fun round no matter what.

Or so he thought.

Unohana smiled her usual saccharine smile from across the table. Shinji mirrored with a toothy grin of his own. Her smile never faltered as they made their way and were closed in to the closet.

“Are you enjoying the evening, Captain Hirako?” She conversed.

“Sure.” He said. “But it could always be better.”

“How do you mean?” Her face was an unreadable mask of pleasant features.

“Captain Unohana,” He took a step closer. “I always wanted to tell you this, but never had the nerve. Now that we’re alone I can’t help but say it… you were my first love.” He teased.

“Captain Hirako…” Her eyes moved slowly upwards to meet his. “Do you not recall that you’ve said this to me once before?”

“Huh?” His eyes got wide. He frantically searched his memory for such an event. “Was I drunk?”

“No I’m afraid you were quite sober.” She giggled slightly. “Though sometimes pain can have a similar effect to alcohol on one’s honesty and inhibitions.”

“Right.” He tried to recompose his smile.

“It couldn’t be that you were being dishonest.” She suggested lowly. “Not then and certainly not now.”

“What do you mean?” He retreated, unsure of when she got so close.

“Trifling with a woman’s emotions is surely beneath you.” His back met the wall, but she drew closer still. “So I can only assume that you would jump at an opportunity to demonstrate your affection.” She grabbed the front of his haori with surprising strength and forced his face down to meet hers. Her lips molded to his with deceptive softness. His hands scrambled to steady him against the wall while her body bore down on him. Sliding her hands under the fabric of his Captain’s jacket, her fingers found his sides. They stroked down the lines of his ribs, jumping back and forth until he felt like she was unzipping him down each side. His racing heartbeat rose, rushing blood to his skin until it prickled. One of her hands drew low around his back, drawing shapes near the base of his spine. The other maneuvered around the knot of his belt to tickle the skin below his navel.

“E-easy there, doll.” He managed to break away from her surging kiss.

“Is something wrong, Captain Hirako?” She kissed his jaw instead, his neck, and the sensitive skin below his ear. There was no way she didn’t feel the sudden swell in his pants. She probably felt the growing twitches before, but now there was no pretending.

“We’re moving a little fast, dontcha think?” His voice cracked. “There’s no need to be shy.” She brushed the bulging fabric with her fingertips. “After all, we’ve waited so long… unless, that is, you’ve had a change of heart.”

“I, uhh, well…” He struggled.

“Because I would be just… devastated.” She wrapped her hand tight around his dick. So tight it brought far more pain than pleasure.

“Shinji!” Mashiro knocked musically. “Time’s up!”

“Oh thank goodness.” He breathed as Unohana released him. “I mean-!”

“My goodness, Captain Hirako.” She covered her mouth as she giggled. “There’s no need to take everything so seriously.”


	12. Shunsui x Rangiku

Shunsui exchanged smirks with Jushiro when his turn came around. He sat up from his reclining position to send the bottle spinning with a flick of his wrist. It made more passes than the force of his movement would have suggested before scraping to a stop in front of their brilliant hostess. Rangiku’s face lit up even before she realized whose turn it was.

“Having fun, Lieutenant?” Shunsui asked as Mashiro closed them in.

“Hardly.” She pouted. “I haven’t had a turn since that first time when I showed everyone how to play.”

“Well, that is a shame.” He rubbed his chin. “A hostess should be able to enjoy her own party. If it’s alright with you, I’d be more than happy to help with that.”

“Somehow, I knew I could count on you, Captain.” She smiled, overdramatically throwing herself against his chest. Her full lips enveloped his whiskered ones. They maneuvered until he could sit on the floor, her draped over his lap and twisting to deliver kiss after heated kiss. The angle of her nearly sideways in his lap offered conspicuously perfect access to her ample breasts.

“Am I meant to take this as an invitation?” He murmured, brushing his lips over her cheek.

“They’re so big. They need a lot of attention.” She explained in an almost whiny but markedly playful voice. Taking his hand, she guided him to cup one breast in his broad hand.

“I’m sure you’ll find I can be very… attentive.” His other arm wrapped around her back, allowing him use of both hands to massage the voluptuous swells. Arching her back against his chest, she pressed herself into his grip. She placed one hand aside his face, directing his lips back to hers. Through the layers of her shihakusho, Shunsui felt her nipples tighten under his touch. Gently, he rolled the nubs between his fingers. Her response came in soft moans against his lips, and involuntary grinding of her backside against his lap.

With her free hand, Rangiku helped him open the front of her top. It wasn’t difficult, she was always about to pop out of the ill-fitting garment. It wasn’t her fault her build didn’t agree with the design of their uniform. Shunsui palmed her exposed skin, privately enjoying the disagreement. He rubbed wide circles to suit her wide chest, reveling in the firmness of her flesh under his hands. She demonstrated her approval by slipping her tongue between his lips. He pinned her breasts high, nearly to her chin, rapidly teasing the points of her nipples with his fingertips.

“Hnn.” She moaned with so much intensity it broke their kiss. Her backside pushed against the half-hard member in his pants in an uneven rhythm.

“Having fun yet?” He grunted when her ass gave a particularly tantalizing twist.

“Yeah.” She put her hands over his, leaning her weight forward. This freed her hips to roll smoothly over his. He leaned back against the wall, bucking his hips up into her movements despite himself. A long exhale served to steady his rising heartbeat.

“I hope you don’t mind, but- uhn, I might not be able to help thinking about this later.” One hand fell to grasp her hip.

“I was about to say the same thing.” She chuckled lowly, falling farther forward, bracing her hands against the floor. Her breast slipped from his grasp, all that was left was their heavy pelvic grinding through their shihakusho and their uneven breathing.

“Rangiku, honeyyy.” Mashiro tapped on the door. “Time to come out~”

“Damn.” Rangiku and Shunsui huffed in unison.


	13. Isane x Kenpachi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This chapter spins off/intersects with another fic to be posted soon.]

When Isane’s turn came around, Unohana had to spin for her. She would have built up the gall to do it herself… eventually. Her constant fits of drunken laughter were a crutch, and now that they’d subsided she was a mess. She couldn’t bear to watch as the bottle made its rounds. If she happened to catch anyone’s eye she was sure she’d explode.

“Relax, Isane.” Unohana patted her knee. “Have another sip.” She held a glass up.

“No, please Captain, I think I’ve had enough.” She protested.

“Nonsense.” When the choice became take the drink, or look at the bottle coming to a stop on the table, she gratefully took the drink.

“You better take another.” Momo muttered from her other side.

“Huh?” Isane swiveled, glancing from Momo to Unohana to the bottle and finally across the table to Kenpachi. “Oh no.” The small sound leaked out with all of her strength. Somehow she maneuvered her jelly legs to the closet and curled into a corner. Kenpachi lumbered in after her and sat opposite. There was a smirk stuck on his face that didn’t fade.

_Seven minutes._ She told herself. _We only have to last seven minutes without bringing up-_

“So.” Kenpachi broke the silence. “I heard you used to fuck Katsuko Umesaka.” Katsuko… Isane’s face burned. Resolved though she was not to speak, her expression gave her away. “It doesn’t matter to me either way… but I think I still have the taste of her in my mouth.” He made a show of licking his teeth. “If you want to try.”

“Wha-” Isane prickled, her mouth falling open. The thought should have been repulsive. It shouldn’t have made her nipples hard. It shouldn’t have made her stomach flip like that. And it definitely shouldn’t have made her throw herself into his lap.

Yet, she found herself tangled in his arms and sliding her tongue deep into his mouth. He didn’t taste like anything but sake, not that she expected anything different. His return was heavy, twisting his tongue around hers and using both hands to pull her body against his. With one arm he held her there, so that any squirming became grinding. His other hand wandered, digging in to her soft flesh wherever he could find it.

The uneven swelling below his belt made her stomach flutter. With the bulge pressing against her open legs, it was easy to imagine going too far. A hard jolt followed the unexpected daydream of how he would feel inside her.

“Thaaat’s enough.” She scrambled away, not entirely sure she wasn’t chiding herself.

“Ah, come on.” He threw his wrists up in half-formed frustration. “I can tell you’re the one who taught Katsuko all that kinky shit. No point in acting embarrassed.”

“Maybe she’s the one who taught me.” She shot back.

“Whatever.” He rolled his eyes at the familiar word game. “You should come over one night.”

“I beg your pardon?” She was taken aback by the casual comment.

“What? All three of us having a go, it could be fun.” He shrugged.

“You’re kidding, right?” She prickled again.

“I dunno, actually. Katsuko keeps making comments about this lady lover of hers. I can never tell if she’s serious.” He popped his knuckles lazily. “If she’s serious, though, I’m up for anything.”

“Damn you, Katsuko.” Isane hid her reddening face behind one hand.


	14. Shinji x Sui Feng

It took some prodding from Mashiro for Shinji to dare spin again. He tested his knee against the underside of the table, wondering if he could bump it enough to change the result if it landed on Unohana again. Fortunately for him, it didn’t.

For a moment he considered doing it anyway to avoid being locked in the closet with Sui-Feng, but decided it was better not to press his luck. The smirk plastered on her face didn’t exactly provide a clear message for how he should feel. It was decidedly either arousal or abject terror. But he didn’t have high hopes.

“So.” She closed the door with a snap. “I finally get to find out if Captain Hirako is all talk and no balls.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Either show me that you can back up your flirting… or it’s going to be fun watching you squirm.” Her smirk widened. “Come on, I promise sober me won’t use it against you.”

“Liar.” He scoffed. “But shouldn’t you be worried about what I’ll hold against you when yer sober?” In a flash he was on the floor. Or rather, his butt was. The closet was so cramped his shoulders were still propped halfway up the wall. Sui-Feng leaned menacingly over him, holding a fistful of his shirt. The conflicted emotions in his gut settled firmly on arousal.

“Even you’re not that stupid.” She said. “Now…” With a hard yank she laid him out flat. It was awkward, his legs were curled at an odd angle, but he soon forgot about them. Her hips came down heavy on his. The straddle settled until he could feel her warm contours through his pants. “What’s it gonna be, Hirako? Are you all bark, or can you bite?”

“I can do way more than just bite, darlin.” Seizing the back of her neck, he forced her head down until their lips met. She fell into it without hesitation, slowly licking his lower lip. Their twisting, shifting mouths served as efficient distraction while their hands roamed. Sui-Feng was so occupied trying to get her hands past his collar that she forgot to protest him palming her breasts.

Shinji got more of a response than he expected. Before long she was sighing through her nose and pushing into his touch. Her whole body moved against him down to her pelvis. Her hips were all bones except where it counted. The soft folds between her legs surrounded his stiffening dick. He grabbed a handful of her ass, steering to a better angle.

“Mmh…” The whimper that slipped out of her throat was so quiet he almost didn’t hear it. He had to pry her jaw away with his hand in order to make his remark.

“Yer sure you don’t want to pick this up later?” He pressed his lips to her cheek, breathing every word against her skin.

“Don’t ruin it.” She huffed, pinning his head to the floor by the hair.

“C’mon…” He sneered. “I bet I can get you to make all kinds of cute sounds.”

“And I bet I could get you to be silent for once.” Her mouth descended on his once again. He couldn’t quite decipher if her quip was sexual or overtly threatening. His mind wandered through a blur of the two, imagining what kind of kinky torture the captain of the Stealth Force might be capable of. After considering how quickly such a scenario could get out of hand, he decided it was for the best that their encounter had a time limit.


	15. Mayuri x Mashiro

Mayuri’s patience was wearing thin when control of the bottle finally passed to him. After developing such high expectations, he was woefully disappointed in the object of the game. It didn’t take many pairs exiting the closet with prominent blushes for him to discern their activities. He just hated that they dragged his mind into the gutter with them.

“What a waste of time this is turning out to be.” He grumbled as he spun. Beside him, Nemu prattled some nonsense about what could be learned from such a rare opportunity. He ignored her.

Across the table, their hostess and the bug-eyed visored were giggling insipidly over some shared joke. Mayuri was so irked by their display that he failed to notice the neck of the bottle follow his attention. It pointed to Mashiro, specifically. She stopped mid-giggle and blinked at the object as if she were seeing it for the first time. Then her eyes rose to Mayuri, still bearing the same look.

“Come on then.” He sighed. “Let’s get this over with.”

“Oh-kay~” She sang, snapping back to herself. In the closet, however, the mask fell again. Mashiro studied him, brow cinched and lips pursed in a sort of curious pout.

“What on earth are you staring at?” Mayuri snapped.

“Your makeup.” She said unguardedly. “If we make out will it smudge all over my face?” She jabbed his cheek with one finger, trying to rub the white paste away.

“Stop that.” He grabbed her wrist.

“How do you get it to stay on so well?” She continued unfazed with her other hand.

“I said stop it.” He seized her other wrist. She leaned her face closer, squinting.

“Do you put that stuff on all over, or just where people might see?” She asked, almost casually struggling against his grip.

“What a stupid question.” A vein throbbed in his temple.

“Is it stupid cause the answer’s yes or cause the answer’s no?” One hand broke free and she tried to peek inside his shihakusho. “Does someone help or do you do it all on your own? Wait!” She gasped loudly. “Do you put it on down there?”

“I do not need any assistance for that, nor will I need any to cut out your flapping tongue.” He seethed, regaining control of her limbs.

“Awww, don’t do that. Kissing is no fun with no tongue.” She whined.

“If I kiss you will you cease your prattling?!” He exclaimed, giving her a shake.

“Silly captain.” Mashiro looked slyly sideways. “You can’t talk and kiss at the same time.” Mayuri let out a long aggravated sigh.

“If anyone could, I’m sure it would be you.” He muttered. Before he could be made to suffer her response, he sealed his lips over hers. Of course, even robbed of speech she still made near constant noise, humming and squeaking and so on. He wedged his tongue between her lips in hopes of quieting her further. The rest of their limited time was markedly more tolerable, and Mayuri found himself in a better mood than he had been when they started.

“Wow, captain you’re really good at kissing” Mashiro said when the knock came at the door, her wide eyes shining with wonder.

“Tch.” He pushed her away unceremoniously. “Of course I am. In my quest to be superior in all things, did you think I would neglect something like that?” He straightened his shihakusho and stomped to the door.


	16. Ikkaku x Momo

With bolstered confidence from his educational first round, Ikkaku eagerly turned the increasingly battered bottle. It occurred to him that not all his potential partners would be as fun as Rangiku, but he trusted his luck and the rising number of empty bottles around the table.

Momo, apparently, was also emboldened by her first round, as she didn’t hesitate to join him in the closet. Then again, if she could survive Captain Zaraki, why would she be intimidated by anyone else? Of course, it could have been that she had quite a few more drinks since then. Or so he assumed when she effectively fell on climbed him like a tree to lay a sloppy kiss over his mouth. Part of him welcomed the gesture, molding his lips to hers. But there was a nagging somewhere beyond the drunken haze in mind.

“Hi there.” He grinned, gently returning her feet to the floor.

“Oh- Oh!” Clarity broke over her face, and both hands clapped over her mouth. “I’m so sorry, I assumed- I didn’t want to lose my nerve- you seemed like you’d want to-”

“Well you’re not wrong.” Ikkaku reasoned.

“We don’t have to.” She pushed away, only to withdraw her hands once his muscled chest registered.

“No, we don’t.” He assured her. “Unless there’s something other than fear making you shake.” A small step forward sent her reeling back.

“N-now don’t get the wrong idea.” She held up an accusatory finger and braced against the wall.

“Of course not.” Stooping, he cupped the back of her thighs and lifted. The wall wasn’t as solid as he anticipated. There was a loud thud and a small squeak from Momo. Her legs tensed in surprise, squeezing his hips while her arms clung to his shoulders. “This is all just the sake talking, right?”

“R-right.” She nodded weakly. When their lips met again she was tense, rigid like a statue. A few rounds of their lips molding and parting saw the feistiness return. She pushed every movement back at him, twisting her mouth and pressing her jaw into his.

 _If that’s how it is…_ Ikkaku nipped her lower lip, swiping his tongue over the soft skin. A short, sharp inhale and her tongue practically leapt into his mouth. The stirring in his pants he could not, in fact, blame solely on the sake. Not when her back arched, grinding her curves into his chest like his weight and the wall weren’t enough. Not that he minded. With his hands occupied holding her up, he had no other way to feel her. It was starting to ache. He didn’t realize until she let out a soft whimper the kind of motion his hips took up in an attempt to relieve the tension. The heat between her legs registered next, the contours beneath her clothes.

He pried his eyes open just enough to see her face, flushed and pulled into an expression of resigned pleasure. His face got hot. All the fog ran out of his head and he saw clearly all the things he imagined doing to her. It would be so easy to go too far. He wondered if she’d even protest.

“Madarame?” Momo pulled away, confused.

“What are we doing? I thought for sure you’d stop me by now?!” He exclaimed.

“You seemed like you were enjoying it?!” She pointed out.

“Yeah, obviously too much!”

“I told you not to get the wrong idea!”

“I’m trying to make sure you don’t get the wrong idea!”

“If it’s such a problem, why are you still holding me up?!”

“You want me to just drop you?!”

“No! I want to make bad decisions for once!” She declared.

“Fine!” Ikkaku slammed his mouth against hers, unapologetically grinding their hips together. A series of surprised squeaks saw her settle back in to entwining their tongues. Her fingernails grazed his scalp, hands cupping his neck to deepen their impossibly heavy kiss. His mind was muddled again in no time. The paneling was starting to creak, but the raucous party drowned out everything including their shouting match. Or so they thought.

“Hey.” Rangiku’s faint whisper froze them both in place. Only their eyes could move to see her peeking through a crack in the closet door. “I’m opening the door soon so make sure you have all your clothes on.”

“Rangiku!” Momo shrieked.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed.” She waved playfully. Ikkaku set Momo down carefully before kicking the door open.

“You should be embarrassed.” He roared. “This game sucks!”


	17. Kensei x Rangiku

“Haven’t you all had enough of this stupid game?” Kensei groaned when his second turn came around. He still had a one in five chance of being locked in the closet with someone he desperately wanted to avoid being locked in a closet with.

 _Actually…_ he scanned the lineup of women around the table as the bottle made its rounds. _It’s probably more like two in five._ Or five in five if he still clung to preserving his professionalism.

But that was out the window.

The bottle stopped at Rangiku.

aaand so was his sanity.

“Oooooh-!” Mashiro did a little dance in her seat. “Better watch out Rangiku, my captain can be a real perv-”

“Shut yer mouth.” Kensei bopped her on the head as he passed.

“Ouch!” She cried overdramatically. “That really hurt, you’re such a jerkface, Kensei!” He was all too glad to shut the door on her pouting face.

“You know she only teases you like that because it always pulls a reaction.” Rangiku pointed out, stifling laughter. “My captain is the same way.”

“Well I can’t just let her get away with it.” He gestured violently. Her eyes followed his arm as it moved, lingering long past the time she should have responded. “What?” He glanced down to make sure he hadn’t spilled something.

“Can I touch it?” She blurted.

“Wha-?!” He withdrew.

“Your arm!” She clarified. “I wanna touch your muscles.”

“Uhh…” Kensei’s face got hot and his ego took over his mouth. “Ok…” Rangiku smiled wide and wrapped both hands around his bicep.

“Ooh…” She squeezed exploratively, revealing just how firm the fibers beneath were. Even his triceps were well defined below the soft skin under his arm. He frowned, trying to still the tickling sensation brought on by her wandering fingers. Poking at his deltoids prompted more quiet exclamations about firmness and definition. She followed the lines over the narrow sleeve of his shihakusho to his half-exposed chest. In doing so she grazed his nipple through the fabric a bit too deliberately.

“Quit that.” He barked.

“Why?” Her hands smoothed the planes of his pectorals, coming together to trace the tattoo on his diaphragm and down the center line of his abs. “Are you afraid you might actually enjoy yourself for a few minutes?” His reflexes betrayed him, his abs twitching under her touch as she outlined each pair down to his navel. There was something else twitching a bit lower that he could have done without.

“Knowing you and Mashiro, I’ll never hear the end of this.” He ground out.

“Oh, I promise I won’t tell.” She winked, reaching lower.

“Quit that!” He repeated, louder this time. It was all he could do not to throw a punch from surprise.

“Keep your pants on.” She rolled her eyes, confusingly pulling on his belt. The tie hugged uncomfortably low on his hips, but he gratefully remained covered. The gap revealed the deep lines of his iliac as they curved up his hips. She ran her thumbs along the muscle fold around to the small of his back. Their bodies pressed together, faces inches apart.

“You know, some people call these Aphrodite’s saddle.” She breathed, purposefully shifting her hips to agitate the tension between them.

“That’s easily the most graphic name I’ve heard for them.” Kensei’s lip curled, trying not to imagine how ‘Aphrodite’s’ legs followed the lines so perfectly while she ‘rode’. “I prefer Hercules’s girdle.”

“That has to be the least sexy name I’ve heard for them.” Rangiku scrunched up her nose in disgust.

“Ok, kiddies!” Mashiro sang as she knocked. “Time to put your clothes back on~” The door swung open and nearly hit her in the face.

“Really, Mashiro, it’s like you don’t know me at all!” Rangiku exclaimed, stepping out. “You really should have warned Kensei about me.”

“We already know how much of a perv you are.” He remarked. “This whole mess was your idea, remember?”


	18. Shuhei x Unohana

Drinking and flirting separately always made Shuhei’s skin flush. After hours of doing both to excess, his face felt like it was on fire. Watching his captain and Rangiku disappear into the closet together set his drunken imagination running and redoubled his blush. Then he tried to drown his runaway thoughts in another glass of sake, so it redoubled again. Then he realized after Kensei it was his turn again, so it redoubled _again_.

_My face is gonna melt off…_ He held his breath and reached for the bottle.

His skin was so hot compared to the glass he was sure he saw steam rising off where they made contact. A few solid spins and the bottleneck pointed squarely at Captain Unohana. _Or I might just have a stroke…_

“Are you feeling alright, Lieutenant Hisagi?” Unohana asked sweetly after the door closed. “You seem a bit feverish.” She lightly touched the back of her hand to his cheek and forehead in turn. The gesture was sweet, harmless, and he wanted to let his guard down but after the surprise Isane sprung on him, he could only imagine what Unohana was capable of. “Perhaps you’ve had enough to drink for tonight.”

“You’re probably right.” He admitted.

“You’ve always been such a good patient.” She patted his cheek warmly. “Always taking my advice to heart… and you _must_ have taken my last piece of advice to heart.” Her smile widened until it was unsettling that she didn’t reveal her teeth.

“H-huh?” He faltered.

“Repressing all that sexual energy isn’t good for you. If you were able to go seven minutes in this closet with Isane without getting a nosebleed, surely you’ve followed my suggestion.” The glint in her eyes made his stomach drop. It was bad enough knowing Unohana assumed the worst without her being right.

_I’m as good as dead…_ He concluded.

“Then again, physical stimulus was never your problem, was it?” She tucked her hands into her sleeves and took half a step back. “It’s your stringent thought-policing that causes you problems.”

“Th-that’s… probably true.” Shuhei dared feel a moment of relief.

“Then let’s run a little test, shall we?” She brightened.

“What? No!” He recoiled.

“Don’t be silly, these are perfect conditions.” She took a few more small steps until they were as far apart as the little space would allow. “Just sit down there and close your eyes. All you have to do is listen to what I say.”

“Alright…?” He proceeded with suspicion. The last thing he saw was her settling in a perfect lotus position opposite him.

“I mean really _listen_.” Her voice dropped to dangerous, silken tone. “I might say something provocative… something that might stir your imagination… but don’t hold back… let yourself visualize.”

“This is a bad idea.” He declared, his heart already pounding from the seductive timbre.

“Why?” She soothed “Are you worried I’ll see your… _reaction_?”

“… Yes.” He choked out and covered his face with his hands.

“Don’t hide.” She ordered gently. “You have an active imagination… sometimes a train of thought can’t be helped.” With some effort, he returned his hands to his sides. “It’s good to have a partner who gets hard easily… you never have to wonder if you’re turning them on.” Shuhei wondered if Kensei got hard easily and wanted to cover his face again. “For girls, you have to be more vocal… or more hands on.”

There it was, the reflex to shut the thought out of his mind. A comment like that usually sent him scrambling for something- anything else to think about other than asking some hypothetical bed mate if she was turned on, or of reaching between her legs to find out. But he let himself imagine it, and her breathy response as she said ‘yes’ and begged for more. The scenario triggered a hard swell below his belt.

“Do you like when your partners are vocal?”

“… yeah.” Of course he did. _Nothing_ wound him up more than a partner panting and sighing and moaning his name. He was half-lost in replaying his last encounter when he realized he’d fallen for her trick.

“I wonder what would affect you more… the act of foreplay, or your partner describing it to you.” Somehow it sounded like a threat.

“Please don’t.” He whined, his shaft stiffening despite him. In reality it was probably imagining someone reciting any kind of erotica to him that drove him nuts. Maybe she knew that. Maybe she was having a little too much fun with her little mind game.

“Of course not.” Unohana’s usual sweet voice returned. “We don’t have time for all that.” As if on queue, Mashiro knocked at the door.


	19. Izuru x Lisa

One day, Izuru thought, he’d learn to stand up against Rangiku when it came to drinking. It was just so easy to go along when she started throwing around her catchphrase of “just drink more!” The more drunk he got the more likely he was to go along, so it was easier to convince him to drink too much, and on and on the cycle went until he was sitting at the table with everyone else playing a game that his sober mind would be appalled by.

“Your turn~” Rangiku sang, pushing the bottle toward him.

“I really don’t think that-” He tried to protest.

“No wimping out!” She said the one phrase that always convinced his drunk mind to do stupid things. So he spun the bottle.

“Oh dear…” Rose sighed as it slowed to a stop. “Lisa, do be gentle with him.”

“Ahahahaha!” Renji burst out laughing with a kind of knowing satisfaction that made Izuru exceedingly nervous.

“Geez, all of your lieutenants are wusses…” Lisa stood and grabbed Izuru’s collar as she headed for the closet.

“Hey!” She closed the door on the chorus of protesting voices.

“I don’t want to do this whole song and dance again.” She said with hands on her hips. “Can we skip to the part where we make out and you pretend not to get a boner?”

“Uhh…” Izuru had never felt a blush come on so fast in his life.

“It really doesn’t have to be that serious. Swap some spit, grab some boob, blame it on the sake, move on with our lives.”

“Um… ok?” It was hard to argue with that kind of blunt force logic.

“Oh, thank god you’re not as dumb as you look.” She rolled her eyes and threw her arms around his neck. The unexpected weight tipped him back into the wall. Their lips met at the same time his head smacked against the paneling. Her kiss was as unceremonious as her words, hard and intense from the start. He didn’t know where to put his hands, but her words ringing in his ears made it easier to decide. They landed on her hips, thumbs stroking the exposed skin above her waistband.

“Is this ok?” He asked when she shifted under his grip.

“Shut up.” She licked and nipped his lower lip for good measure. His hands drifted upwards with every intention of staying above her shirt. However, the hem was so loose he didn’t realize he missed it until his thumbs grazed the underside of her breasts. His reflex to apologize was hard to stifle, but he choked it down when her hips ground against his in what could only be encouragement. So he committed to kneading her flesh under his palms without restraint.

She was sure to notice the additional movement below his belt, but he knew better than to be alarmed. He’d had way too much to drink for anything to come of it. Then again, when she raked her fingers through his hair and ran her tongue along his jawline he had to reassess.

“H-holy…” He shuddered.

“Don’t wuss out on me now.” She breathed against his neck.

“Lisa~ Izuru~” Rangiku knocked musically. He couldn’t help but feel a wave of relief.

“Damn…” She stepped away, straightening her top. “Just when it was getting interesting.”


	20. Shinji x Nemu

By the start of his third turn, Shinji had enough to drink not to care anymore about the dangers inherent in this game. He spun the bottle with reckless abandon. If he was going to die, alone in a closet with a beautiful woman wasn’t a bad way to go.

Nemu, on the other hand, didn’t seem fazed no matter how much alcohol she consumed. There wasn’t even a shadow of a reaction on her face when the bottle pointed to her. She simply stood and paced to the closet with measured, graceful steps. Shinji nearly fell trying to stand up.

Once they were alone he took a good look at her for probably the first time. The last time he was in the Soul Society, the whole research and development department was in its infancy, and she wasn’t even a twinkle in Mayuri’s cold, lifeless eyes. He was creepy then and the years hadn’t made him any better. It was unnerving to think of her as his “daughter.” Though, looking at her curves it was hard to understand why any father would want his daughter to look or dress like that.

“Is something wrong, Captain Hirako?” Nemu asked in her soft, unassuming voice.

“Uhh…” Shinji realized he was staring at the precariously short hem of her kimono. _Yeah. Yer proportions._ He thought.

“Do you want to see?” Her fingers threatened to pull up the too-short skirt.

“Yeah, ack-! No!” He slapped one hand over his eyes. Reason was not happening around his clouded thoughts.

“Forgive me.” She stopped. “I’m afraid I haven’t quite figured out the subtleties of this game.” One thing solidified in his mind: she was bullshitting.

“Why do I feel like you’re too smart for that to be true?” He removed his hand to give her a look. “This has gone on long enough for anyone to be an expert.”

“Maybe so, but each person is different. I’m still learning. I worried you might be less receptive… if you knew my true goals.” She explained.

“So you wanna learn something new, huh? I might have a thing or two to teach.” He grinned. The pickup line fell out of his mouth before he could stop it. This reflex was going to be the death of him.

“Oh?” She seemed to perk up a bit. “Where should we start, Capta-” He cupped the back of her neck and pulled her into a kiss before he could think himself out of it. She stiffened with surprise, but relaxed quickly. He wasn’t surprised at her ability to keep up as their mouths twisted back and forth, or at the way her hands traveled up and down his chest.

“Well it seems like you’ve got the basics down.” He chuckled softly.

“Was there something else you wanted to show me, Captain Hirako?” Her dark green eyes drifted downwards.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself.” He slanted his mouth across hers again, sliding his tongue between her lips. She made a surprised little squeaking sound but made no move to stop him. This time she was unprepared, clumsily maneuvering her jaw and tongue with only minimal understanding. They tipped back into the wall, his slight frame pressing against hers. He ran the tip of his tongue over the points of her teeth one by one, silently satisfied with the way she shivered. Soon she got bold, trying to force him back and get past his lips instead.

“Oh, what is that?” She recoiled suddenly.

“Huh?” He replied densely.

“In your mouth.” She squinted, trying to see.

“Oh, this?” He half-rolled his tongue to show her the silver ring.

“How odd.” She pinched his tongue between two fingers and stretched it out of his mouth to get a better look. 

“Eyy!” He protested, but couldn’t break from her grip. “Lat hurrs.”

“I know a lot of people get various adornments like this, but why would you get one here? Wouldn’t it be uncomfortable and inconvenient? Does it serve some other function? Acupuncture?” She was so much more interested in the piercing than in kissing him that he was actually kind of offended.

“Well…” His mind wandered off to the various perks he’d discovered over the years, but didn’t try to explain. Knowing her, she’d ask for a demonstration and he wasn’t in that kind of a hurry to die.

Finally the knock came at the door and he was able to suck his tongue back into his mouth with no intention of letting it back out near her ever again.


	21. Rose x Momo

Rose sent the bottle spinning with flair. It didn’t drift at all, but spun perfect circles at the center of the table. At least, he thought it did. Everything had gone a little hazy with the last round of drinks. The bottle stopped decisively before Momo, whose red face looked markedly relieved. At first he wasn’t sure what to think of her reaction, but decided relief was better than disappointment and less awkward than excitement.

They settled across from each other in the little closet, legs crossed somewhat formally. When the door closed she let out a soft sigh.

“You seem tense, Lieutenant Hinamori.” He observed.

“Yes, well…” She admitted shyly. “My experience with this game so far has been… taxing.”

“Oh I’m sure.” He patted her knee. “Those Squad 11 brutes have no idea how to treat a lady. I hope they didn’t mishandle you.”

“Well… not exactly.” Her mouth twitched around her forced smile. The lack of specificity in her response gave him pause. Had he misread her sweet demeanor? Was she secretly some smoldering temptress with a taste for rough men? After noticing the timid way her hands curled in her lap, he decided not.

But I wonder… “You poor thing.” He took her hand and placed a gentle kiss on each of her fingers. “How they must have traumatized you.”

“N-no, that’s not-!” She covered her face with her other hand as he touched another kiss just above her knuckles, but didn’t pull away.

“Please, allow me to apologize on their behalf.” He turned her wrist to kiss the soft skin below, peppering more up her arm.

“C-captain Otoribashi, y-you don’t have to eep-!” She squeaked when he pulled her on to his lap. Skipping the length of her arm covered by her sleeve, he resumed his kisses at her collar and up her neck. Heat radiated off her ever-reddening face.

“Will you permit me to kiss your lips, sweet one?” He cupped the back of her head with one hand and the small of her back with the other, dipping her backwards until she was clinging to his shirt for want of balance. The best response she could muster was a shaky nod.

He pressed his mouth against hers softly at first, allowing their lips to mold together. As seconds passed and the kiss burned deeper, she seemed to melt in his arms. Stiff, nervous muscles tempered into a delicate sigh. Then, with an inhale she was taut again, pulling herself up to force their lips harder together. He receded slightly, just enough to keep her on the edge of tenderness. Measured turns and careful breaks swam in the heat and the haze. She kept tugging at his shihakusho, fighting gravity and reflexive desire to be closer to him. Soon they were upright, his back against the wall and her leaned gratefully against his chest. His lips drifted to the point of her chin, forcing her face upwards and sliding down the centerline of her throat to the crux of her fluttering chest.

The timing of the knock at the door could not have been better. As much as he hated to admit it, Rose had come to the end of his more gentlemanly tactics.


	22. Jushiro x Mashiro

“I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.” Jushiro slumped against Shunsui’s shoulder. “What time is it, anyway?”

“Late.” Mashiro declared, checking her watch. “No wait, it’s early.” She giggled to herself.

“Hmm, just hang in a little longer.” Rangiku pouted. “At least until we finish this round.” Complying with her request took less energy than trying to press the issue, so Jushiro spun the bottle. Mashiro was still fiddling with her watch when it pointed to her.

“Oh!” She squeaked happily, sliding the band off her wrist and tossing it to Rangiku. She was fully settled in the closet before he made it halfway around the table. Sinking down against the adjacent wall, he offered her a sympathetic smile. She beamed back at him, too drunk to be fazed.

“I’m not sure why Rangiku wouldn’t want the old geezers like me to go home. Surely you kids would have more fun without us in the way.”

“Oh, stop.” Her whole head lolled when she rolled her eyes. “If we have any more fun then things will get _really_ naughty.” She snickered.

“God forbid.” He forced a laugh and rubbed his face with one hand, noting the sudden surge of heat across his nose. More embarrassed than aroused.

“Uhhhggg, I’m just kidding.” She groaned. “Everyone’s way too serious for that even when they’re drunk stupid… stupid drunk…?” She tossed the phrasing back and forth a couple times but didn’t seem to make a decision.

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” He held up his hands. “There must be a good balance between the two somewhere, right?”

“Exactly!” She agreed. “So what do you say? Last chance of the night~” She leaned close, lips puckered dramatically.

“Very well then.” He sighed, ceding more for her sake than his own. It was probably her last chance too, after all. He kissed her. A quick peck on the lips as casual as any greeting. She jumped back, face alight with a surprised grin.

“Now one here!” She exclaimed, pointing and offering her cheek.

“Ok…” He chuckled slightly and kissed her again.

“And here.” She whipped her head around, flipping her short hair and showing her other cheek. He played along. “My turn!” She said suddenly, descending on him and peppering his face with rapid playful little kisses. Now he laughed outright, sliding further down the wall.

“Easy, easy!” He coughed. She backed off just enough for him to catch his breath.

“You only try to act old because you’re hair’s all white.” She observed. “My Captain’s the same way. You’re only as old as your heart and yours is still young.” She punctuated each word with a tap of her finger up his chest and neck, the final one landing as a kiss on the tip of his nose.

“You think so?” He took her hand and kissed each knuckle in turn. She squealed with delight and offered her other hand for the same. “Then I suppose you’ll be young forever, won’t you?” He said after he sat up properly, albeit leaned forward enough to kiss her forehead. “Such a ray of light… the Seireitei truly was a darker place while you were away.” That made her blush, her eyes looking away coyly.

“Could’ve fooled me.” She pouted pointedly. “After all, you’ve got a new ‘Little Shiro’ don’t you?”

“Huh?” Jushiro’s heart sank. “Oh… do you mean… are you jealous of Captain Hitsugaya?”

“Of course I am!” She burst. “You used to give me so many sweets I never had to buy any myself- do you have any idea how hard it is to afford that many snacks on a Lieutenant’s salary?! It’s not fair, Hitsugaya is a Captain, he can afford his own sweets! It’s not like I’m not gonna like snacks any more since I’ve been away for a hundred years-!” She flailed her arms wildly along with her rant. “I thought we were friends, but you haven’t talked to me at all since I got back. I was even gonna request to be your new Lieutenant when I heard you needed one but noooo Old Man Shiro is too good for me now-!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He held his hands up again. “I didn’t realize it meant so much to you…” Now she looked hurt, face scrunched up and eyes watering. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

“Really?!” Suddenly she was bright again, excited with her smiling face close to his. “A hundred years of snacks- with interest?!”

“Yes, of course, anything.” He cried. “Just please forgive me!”

“Awww, you’re the best!” She snaked her arms around his chest and snuggled her head under his chin. It was hard to breathe around her enthusiasm, but he tried his best not to cough and ruin the moment.

“Times up, you guys!” Rangiku’s call drew their attention. Mashiro stole one last quick kiss before the door could open.


	23. Shunsui x Unohana

Shunsui cracked his knuckles before giving the bottle a deft twist. The paper label was peeling off and wearing away, causing unexpected bumps as it spun. Its stop in front of Unohana was rather abrupt, catching on a folded bit of paper as it lost momentum. She smiled slightly at him in acknowledgement.   
He felt the smallest tinge of embarrassment. This game was funny when it meant having a laugh at the young kids, but a pair of old beans like them had to look silly clambering into a closet. They were sure to think the round wasted on them. Still they settled with their backs against the same wall, facing the door as Rangiku slid it shut, already distracted by something more amusing as she did. Shunsui’s mind wandered to how much he would have liked to have another round with her in the closet. A dangerous thought, he realized. A guarantee of future troubles if he entertained it too much.

“Darn. I meant to bring my sake bottle.” He said, lifting his sleeves to check around. “Oh well, probably best to take a break. After all, we’re getting a little old for this kind of party, don’t you think?” He moved to tip his hat only to realize he wasn’t wearing it. He couldn’t quite remember taking it off.

“Speak for yourself, Commander.” Unohana gave the smallest of giggles, almost girlish.

“Oh? Don’t tell me you’ve been teasing these poor boys.” His eyes widened.

“That’s absolutely none of your business.” She said smilingly. “You wouldn’t want me sharing your dirty secrets, would you?”

“Of course not…” He rubbed his nose and averted his eyes. “Though that implies that there are dirty secrets to tell.” The line was meant to be a sly thought, but judging from the glint in her eyes it didn’t stay that way. The look she gave him contained a silent, sly comment of her own.   
“ _Shall we make a few dirty secrets, then?_ ”   
Shunsui shifted his weight to one arm, leaning down to her level. Tilting her face up to his, she brought their lips together, soft as a breath. For a moment he was almost fooled by her easy kisses, the gentleness of her touch on his cheek and shoulder. As her fingers drifted down his neck, almost tickling the sensitive hollows between muscle and ligament, he remembered that he knew better. He flicked his tongue across the bow of her upper lip, just enough to show he was paying attention. Next she went for his collarbone, stroking under the collar of his kimono. Her fingers were a whisper on his skin but the trails they left behind screamed with sensation. His free hand found her knee, fingers drawing aimless designs just to the inside, not high enough up her leg to be called her thigh.   
It was a game of taunts. Silent threats and subtle advances, always on the edge of propriety. In long form the goal might have been to get the other naked without their noticing, but in limited time it was more who could trigger more arousal while appearing chaste. The trouble, Shunsui thought, was that he had no way to tell if he was winning. Also he managed to put himself at a disadvantage as the arm holding him up was effectively paralyzed unless he was willing to break the kiss. He was not.

Cracking his eyes open just a sliver, he thought he saw a dusting of pink on her pale cheeks. But he was drunk and the closet was dark so there’s no telling. Unohana was supremely composed, even as her tongue dragged over his bottom lip in the slowest most agonizing act of teasing he’d ever experienced. She was full of tricks like that, small gestures that caused a physical reaction without the mind noticing. His heart hammered in his chest, heat crawling up his neck like the soft rake of her nails. There was a slight clockwise drift to the small room that he couldn’t attribute solely to her or the sake. Then it all dialed back with a knock at the door. Suddenly the floor was very solid again and his mind was clear as day.

“Are you alright, Commander?” Unohana asked, no doubt reading the puzzled look on his face.

“Of course.” He lied, trying to rub some of the residual sensation from the back of his neck. “Why wouldn’t I be?”


	24. Nanao x Rose

The determined furrow in Nanao’s brow had her glasses sliding down her nose. She pushed them up with one hand and reached for the bottle with the other. The cool touch of the glass made her blood pressure spike. Her anxiety critiqued her technique, convinced that everyone was judging her obvious inexperience, that somehow she was doing something wrong. A glance around the room showed that no one was paying attention at all. Not until the bottle stopped, pointing squarely at Rose. His eyebrows, eyes, and the corners of his mouth jumped up in succession. She tried to mirror his soft expression, but it was hard to tell what her face was doing. It had gone a bit numb after so many drinks.

Rose held the closet door open for her and offered his hand to steady her as she sat. Not that she needed it with the walls pressing in so close. It threw her off when he sat beside rather than across from her.

“Tonight has been full of surprises, so I have just one question for you…” He said quietly. “Are you feeling bold, sweet one?” At least… that’s how her drunken mind perceived him saying it. It may or may not have been so smooth in reality. There was something about him, his air, that stilled her nerves. There were men in the other room that no amount of sake could make her brave enough to face. But somehow, in these strange circumstances, she could see herself risking a little audacity.

“… Yes.” Nanao replied. Again, how she thought she responded. Truthfully there was much more babbling and shaking. Rose took her hand in his, tilted her chin with the other and all at once she was still. His face was already so close, sharp jaw and soft eyes and that curtain of sweet-smelling blonde curls. She barely remembered to close her eyes when he brought their lips together.

The kiss was soft, restrained, but warm. The thrum of her heart actually lessened as they continued. She flexed the unoccupied fingers of her free hand, uncertain. She pressed her palm lightly to his chest. As she hoped, he took it for encouragement, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear on his way to cup the back of her neck. The thumb of his other hand stroked her knuckles not quite in rhythm with the movements of his lips on hers. She soaked it all in, determined to read every tiny queue and not embarrass herself.  
He stopped suddenly. She shrank, searching for what she might have done wrong.

“Don’t forget to breathe, my dear.”

“Right.” She exhaled. He touched the tip of his nose to hers before resuming. This more than anything else brought a blush to her cheeks. Such a quiet romantic gesture she had never imagined. His kiss seemed firmer this time, more earnest. Or maybe that was her… or her imagination. _Who knew men like this could even exist…?_ She wondered as his fingers ran among the small hairs at the top of her neck. _Surely he means to ruin me with high expectations._ Being exemplary for seven minutes was easy. No man could be so wonderful all the time… right?

When a lazy knock came at the door, Nanao found herself wanting to pretend she didn’t hear it. But reason caught up with her quickly as it always did and she disconnected from all her points of contact with Rose. He would not let go of her hand, though. He used it to help her to her feet and guide her through the doorway ahead of him.


	25. Omaeda x Nemu

In Nemu’s observation, Lieutenant Omaeda was a loud and boisterous man. Drinking made him louder and more boisterous by the round. She had little enough opinion on him. Master Mayuri expressed passing dislike on occasion, but didn’t deign to qualify his view. Studying the body language of the other females present revealed a generalized discomfort in his presence, though she couldn’t account for way. Most of the outright comments against him came from his own captain, and most of them concerned his size and amount of perspiration. Which didn’t make sense because everyone sweats, and Omaeda’s was as proportionate to his body as anyone else. So the sympathetic looks she received when his turn spinning the bottle indicated her didn’t make much sense either. The only explanation she could imagine was that they all knew something about him that she did not, and she resolved to find out what it was.

It was… quite challenging to fit comfortably in the small closet. Omaeda’s width was almost as extreme as his considerable height. Nemu found herself wedged in a corner faced with the broad expanse of his chest. He was wearing cologne of some kind, a little strong but not wholly unpleasant.

“I do hope you’ll be patient with me.” She said. “Tonight has been my first experience with… any of this.” That wasn’t true but he didn’t need to know that.

“Oh, of course, I mean-!” His tone began low and uncertain but changed abruptly. “How fortunate for you to get paired with such a great teacher as me! Hehe…” The uncertain laugh at the end contradicted his confident statement, so she elected to ignore it.

“Oh, yes I would appreciate some instruction very much.” She said quietly.

“Right. I… uh… of course! Well, you see. Umm… It’s really better shown er… demonstrated, yeah that’s right!” The certainty in his tone fluctuated with each word. Nemu tilted her head, trying to decipher the contradictions.

“Are you implying that… one can become good at kissing simply by kissing someone else who is good at kissing?” She tried.

“Yeah, that’s it!” This he said with absolute confidence and a wide grin, so she was inclined to believe him.

“Very well, then please permit me this opportunity to learn from you, Lieutenant Omaeda.”

“Right…” It took some maneuvering to draw their faces level. Nemu wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he attempted to hold her up at the hips without looking like he was holding her hips. She wanted to tell him not to be timid about touching her body, but he was the expert and surely all of his actions had meaning.

His lips were thick, his mouth much larger than hers. She let him lead, following as best she could through turns of the head, waiting for some clear sign of his proficiency. Her heart rate didn’t rise as it had for Captain Ukitake. Her head didn’t spin as it had for Captain Hirako. But there was so much else different too. There were small wet popping sounds where their misaligned lips separated, the use of his tongue on her lips was far more… decided. And then there was the occasional trace of suction sealing her mouth to his.

When the end of their time was announced, Nemu was left with plethora of new data but no clear hypothesis to apply it to. She was… confused.

“Hmm…” Nemu put a finger to her lips in thought. None of the others had qualified if they were ‘good’ kissers. Yet Omaeda had. But if his technique was considered ‘good’ while being so different from those of her previous experience…. Had she misunderstood the criteria?


	26. Ikkaku x Lisa

Ikkaku’s next attempt to spin the bottle failed spectacularly, whirling off the table and into Lisa’s lap. A gust of laughter rose up from everyone present, Ikkaku and Lisa loudest of all. She almost fell over laughing, clutching the bottle and pointing.

“Does… does that count?” He looked to Rangiku for answers.

“Sure, I guess.” She said with some difficulty.

Oh this should be fun. The implications clicked in his head and he smirked. Second and third degree rumors of Captain Yadomaru’s perversions reached many ears. Even if not one of them was true, he knew talk like that didn’t get started out of thin air.

They made their own ways to the closet and he took the liberty of closing the door himself. Safely inside, he rounded on her, intending to slam one hand on the wall beside her head and stick his face close to hers. Not so much to intimidate her as it was meant to make his intentions known. Any actual intimidation would be a bonus. It would have worked, too. His palm found the paneling with a dull slap. Except she had exactly the same plan and their heads collided with a much louder thud. They were sent careening back into opposite walls, groaning and cursing.

“What the fuck, hardhead?!” Lisa snapped, struggling to keep her glasses.

“You should talk!” Ikkaku shot back, a detectable lump rising above his temple.

“So much for the mood.” She grumbled, rubbing her head.

“Hey, don’t give up on me that easily.” He protested.

“Of course not, you’re my first real chance for some decent fun all night.” She commented as she composed herself.

“Oh yeah?” He straightened up, cocking an eyebrow.

“Easy, killer. That was an insult to the others, not a compliment to you.” She scoffed. “I’ll still be way too much for you to handle.”

“Show me what you’ve got.” He taunted. Somehow even in the dim light, her glasses flashed menacingly. Faster than he could blink, she leapt into his arms. Well, not really. His arms were still at his sides when hers locked around his neck and her legs around his waist. They tilted backwards and almost fell. Thankfully his reflexes were enough to save them, even when slowed by sake. The only drawback is that those same reflexes caused him to grab her ass with both hands to steady her. Or maybe it wasn’t a drawback at all. She had an amazing ass.

Taking advantage of his momentary imbalance, she sealed her mouth over his in a rough and uneven kiss. It took him a few turns to catch up. Meanwhile she worked her lips against his in a frenzy, every twist threatening to dizzy him beyond recovery. The first nip of her teeth came with a pointed roll in her hips before her nails skimmed up the back of his neck and across his scalp. If he hadn’t been hard before, he was now. Then her tongue ran over the still stinging skin slow as can be. Quite unexpectedly, his knees went weak.

His only move to turn the tables was forward. Half a step and a forward tilt and she was slammed against the opposite wall. Her surprise was momentary, but it was enough for him to get his tongue past her lips. He could feel the heat between her legs even though so many layers of fabric. He felt like he should be tearing her clothes off. Any other time he’d kissed so fiercely involved clothes coming off in a hurry. Even though ten minutes ago the idea of fucking Captain Yadomaru was precisely nowhere on his radar. It was a cognitive dissonance remedied by the memory of their time limit. He returned his attention to the friction between their bodies, resolved to enjoy however many more seconds he could get.

Rangiku’s knock on the door was loud and deliberate, like she was worried they wouldn’t hear her. They let her carry on knocking for a good few seconds before prying their mouths apart. Ikkaku searched for a clever line but his mind was too fogged, he only found pieces. Instead he was just left grinning like a fool.

Lisa detangled herself from him, straightened her shihakusho, cleared her throat, and said nothing at all. She exited the closet as if nothing happened at all. Ikkaku narrowed his eyes after her. Act cool all she wanted, there’s no way no one heard their knocking around.


	27. Kenpachi x Rangiku

Kenpachi shot Ikkaku a knowing look as he returned to his seat. He gave the bottle another whirl, hoping this time for a partner who wouldn’t whine. If it was going to be his last turn he wanted at least one chance to let loose without fear of scarring the soft lieutenants. He got his wish. Rangiku was distracted by Mashiro whispering something in her ear, but she noticed the bottle’s point soon enough. Her gaze wandered up his figure from bottom to top and when her eyes met his, she smiled. A wicked curl of her lips full of threats and promises, which he readily returned.

They ducked into the closet.

“One heck of a party you’ve got here.” He said once the door closed and the outside noise rose to its usual level.

“Well, I can’t take all the credit.” She tossed her hair and leaned closer. “This never would have worked if everyone didn’t play along so well.”

“How do you want to play this?” He gestured to the space between them.

“Hmmm…” She made a show of thinking hard while she crawled on to his lap. “How about… I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” She snickered at her own joke. Kenpachi almost reached for his belt but he realized her eyes were too high to mean his dick.

 _Darn. Oh well._ He pulled open the top of his shihakusho instead. Rangiku bit her lip and reached out to trace the lines of his abs with her fingertips. “And yours?” He stopped her short. She feigned a put-out pout but opened her top as well, effortlessly sliding it down her shoulders.

Her hands wandered all over the expanse of his chest. She traced his muscles from top to bottom, from center to sides, and laid her palms heavy over them to admire the hard planes. But his hands stayed put. Never before had his huge hands been better suited for a pair of breasts. It was too dark to properly appreciate them with his eyes, but touch was more than enough. Just flexing his fingers around her perfect firm flesh would have occupied him for far longer than seven minutes. His thumbs stroked her soft pink nipples until they grew tight enough to pinch. She hummed approvingly, skimming her nails down his chest.

“Watch yourself with that.” He warned, shifting his hips against her so she could feel the reaction she was causing.

“Why?” She pretended not to notice even as she rolled her hips against him.

“C’mon, you must have heard how I get when I have too much ‘fun’.” He pushed her breasts together and lifted them to his mouth. Trapping both nipples between his teeth, he teased the most sensitive points with rapid flicks of his tongue. Rangiku gasped, her fingers digging in to his skin accidentally this time. As he carried on, her tense, restrained sounds got needier, the grind of her hips more intense.

“Captain… Zaraki…” Her hands went to his hair instead, pulling in a conflicted battle of holding him closer or tearing him away. The heat between her legs pressed so hard against his cock the layers of their clothes seemed insignificant. It would be so easy to- No. If they went that far he’d end up killing the person who tried to interrupt. While that was sure to enhance the experience for him, he didn’t want to ruin the night for everyone else.

“Hellooo in there~ Time’s up~” Mashiro sang along with the messy melody of her knocking. Rangiku sighed a mix of relief and pleasure when he finally released her.

“Hmm that was mean.” She rubbed her sore breasts before pulling her shihakusho back into place. “You better hope I don’t get another turn. My next partner won’t get to have any fun at all.”

“Or what?” He scoffed, grinning. “I’d like to see you come at me and try to do something about it.”

“Oh, just put your shirt back on.” She grumbled.


	28. Mayuri x Lisa

Mayuri sighed heavily. He had so hoped Captain Ukitake’s break for freedom would be successful so he could follow suit and rid himself of this tedious situation. Alas, he would have to suffer at least seven more minutes in that accursed closet. Ready to get it over and done with, he gave the bottle a calculated turn. Fast enough to prevent accusations of trying to aim for someone in particular, but not so fast as to drag on a second longer than necessary.

Captain Yadomaru showed no measurable response when she was indicated. She made her way to the closet with the same level of indifference he felt. Once inside, they posted up on opposite walls, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. While he would have welcomed the opportunity to study her mannerisms closely, he hesitated at giving her the same opportunity. Her glasses did little to misdirect her piercing gaze.

If he had the opportunity to dissect a vizored, he thought he would choose this one. The other female was too loud and likely to complain. Captain Muguruma was too stubborn and hot-headed. Hirako was too thin and likely to break. Otoribashi was too likely to exaggerate his survey answers. A laboratory is no place for theatrics. Ushoda was too influenced by Kido and therefore atypical and unlikely to yield reliable data. Besides, Yadomaru was sure to make the most attractive specimen. If he was going to spend countless hours examining and deconstructing a body, it may as well be appealing. He imagined how satisfying the first cut would be, a line of red splitting the center of her perfect pale chest. The unexpected string of thoughts gave him pause. Had all this drinking begun to affect him after all?

“So.” She broke the silence sharply. “Mashiro wants me to find out if you put makeup on your dick.” Searing rage shot up his spine. His hand twitched toward a sword that wasn’t there.

“Is that all you insipid girls think about?!” He demanded.

“There’s no need to get mad.” She remained impassive. “I wouldn’t judge you for something like that. And there’s nothing else for you to be embarrassed about… right?” The point in her voice and the path of her eyes made her implication clear.

“As if your opinion means anything to me!” He scoffed.

“Maybe not, but clearly you two were doing _something_ wrong or she wouldn’t have to ask me. If you did anything at all, considering she didn’t have a speck of your makeup on her.”

“I will have no more of your prattle, woman. I should strap you to a table and cut you apart for your disrespect.” He spat.

“… Kinky.” There was the smallest upward turn at one corner of her mouth. Mayuri wanted to scream. There was no winning against minds already entrenched in the innuendo gutter. Now even if he did get to take her apart one day it would be ruined. What a wretched game this was turning out to be.

“If I tell you the answer will it shut you up?” He sighed.   
“Depends. If I think your answer is boring I’ll make up something better. That is… unless you give undeniable proof.” The other corner of her mouth jumped up to form a true smirk.

“I don’t believe that for an instant.” He sneered. “You’ll say whatever you please to entertain your dimwitted little friend regardless of how I behave.”

“Who knew you were so modest, Kurotsuchi.” She let out a short chuckle. “Of all people I’d think this would be immaterial to you.”

“That is exactly the sort of presumption of insight I want to avoid.” He said.

“Hmm, gotta keep the air of mystery. Smart.” She shrugged.

“It certainly kept _you_ occupied for a nearly satisfactory amount of time.” He consulted the timepiece tucked in to his haori. “One minute short. How disappointing.” Yadomaru frowned.

“ _God_ you’re boring.” She complained.


	29. Isane x Izuru

_Well. Things certainly can’t go **worse** than my last round…_ Isane shrugged and gave the bottle a cavalier turn. No one at the table could possibly offer her anything more embarrassing than being propositioned by Captain Zaraki. Her ears burned at the memory.

Much to her relief, the game chose a much more suitable match this time. Izuru smiled nervously at her from the point of the bottle. Her relief was profound. Even if everything went wrong in the next seven minutes the worst it would be was awkward. And if everything went right she might just see her faith in men restored.

For a long minute it was. They stood silently, leaned against opposite walls and staring at their feet. Muffled sounds of revelry came under the door as the party went on without them.

“S-sorry. This isn’t really my thing.” Izuru offered.

“Oh, n-no me neither.” Isane assured him with a smile.

“It’s really ridiculous if you think about it.” He said, still sheepish.

“Absolutely.” She agreed.

“So much pressure.”

“Who needs it?”

“Not me. Unless… I mean- if you wanted to… we could…” He stumbled.

“No- I mean, yeah… we _could_.” She reasoned.

“But we don’t have to!”

“No, no of course not… but I mean… what could it hurt?”

Then they were coming together in the middle. She placed her hands gingerly on his shoulders, ever self-conscious of overwhelming him with her height. There were some anxieties that no amount of alcohol could quiet. He didn’t seem to notice, his hands falling comfortably to her hips. Their lips stuttered together, touching three or four times before settling into a kiss.

It was… nice. Soft and warm and bereft of expectation. It was a strange sensation, a perfectly unloaded kiss, but not hollow or empty by far. The tension melted out from between her muscles slowly. Her arms laid soft against his chest. His curled closer around her waist, one hand smoothing up the small of her back. They broke away just long enough for a breath, a cautious glance, then turned and kissed again.

She fought the urge to cup the back of his neck, but she lost. It felt right, even if most men would fuss at the gesture. Izuru tilted his head into her touch, pushing their mouths harder together. His other hand flattened against her back and drew their bodies closer until they were two molded lines with no space between.

Hours could have passed and she wasn’t sure she would notice. At the same time she would believe it if only seconds went by. But it wasn’t hours or seconds, it was minutes after all. Sharp knocking at the door shook them out of the haze. They stepped away, clearing their throats and looking anywhere but each other.

“Well, uh… h-have a good night, Lieutenant Kotetsu.” He rubbed the back of his head, furthering the disorder she hadn’t meant to cause.

“Y-yes, you too… Lieutenant Kira.” She smiled and hoped it didn’t look as awkward as it felt.


	30. Kensei x Momo

Kensei turned the bottle with one hand and rubbed his face with the other. Maybe if he didn’t look it would never stop and they’d get to go home by default. It did stop though and when it did it pointed to Momo, who blushed noticeably and looked everywhere but at him. He let out a long-held breath, thankful like he never thought he would be for quiet, well-behaved lieutenants.

He ducked into the closet and slumped against a wall, head pressed against the paneling. Then he wanted to smack his head against said paneling for not thinking to hold the door for her. She folded herself up across from him, careful not to touch his sprawling legs. The silence that fell over them was heavy, awkward, full of her anxious fidgeting.

“So I, uh-” She broke nervously. “I don’t know if you’d-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there.” He held up a hand. He could see where she was going by the red rising on her ears. Her face fell and she seemed to shrink. Guilt twisted in his gut and compelled him to keep talking. “It’s nothing against you, I’ve just really had enough of this game.”

“N-no, I understand.” She forced a smile. “It’s probably for the best. I’ve been a little irresponsible tonight. I should thank you for looking out for me.”

“Don’t mention it…” This silence was worse than the first. Momo looked positively miserable and he couldn’t bear being responsible for even a few minutes.

“Looks like you’re carrying a lot of tension in your shoulders.” Kensei observed, failing nonchalance.

“Well… yes…” She admitted sheepishly.

“C’mere.” He rolled his eyes and motioned for her to come closer. Hesitantly, she settled facing away on the floor in front of him. _Damn she’s tiny._ He thought as he placed his hands on her shoulders. At first she tensed at his touch, but turned to mush as soon as his thumbs dug in.

There was more muscle to her than he expected, and there were knots in all of them. Dealing with Shinji as much as she had to, he didn’t wonder why. She stretched along with his movements, silently directing him to the spots causing the most discomfort. When he started on a particularly tight knot on the edge of her scapula her head lolled back gratefully.

The scent of her hair brought a fog to his brain. It smelled fruity, or floral or something. Something ridiculously feminine and delicate and wanting of his face buried in it.

_This is the sake. It has to be the sake._ Kensei told himself. But the nape of her neck was right there, exposed between the gap of her shihakusho and her short hair and at that moment it was the most alluring thing he’d ever beheld. He placed a soft kiss to the crease of her skin, then another just above it. She let out a tiny sigh and tilted her head to give him more room… or to get away.

“Shit. Sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” He backpedaled.

“N-no.” Momo whispered. “D-don’t stop.” Her head stayed just at that angle, begging for more. Kensei felt like he’d been punched in the chest.

_That is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen._ He wanted to scream. Instead he bit down on his tongue and returned his lips to her skin. He kissed all the way up her neck and behind her ear. Her hair tickled his face, soft as silk.

She pulled away then, turning to face him. Her eyes were as clouded as his mind as she stared at his lips. He stared back, breath catching in his throat. Her lashes fluttered, closing as she leaned forward. Just as he resolved to do the same-

A knock at the door.


	31. Shuhei x Nanao

Shuhei turned his empty glass between his fingers. No one had touched a refill for awhile. It was long past the point of more booze giving anyone more courage. The only thing more drinks would bring was worse hangovers, and possibly blackouts before that. On second thought, maybe he wanted another round after all. He wasn’t sure his nerves could take another round like his last. He wondered if spinning the bottle in the opposite direction would turn his luck. It certainly couldn’t make it any worse, so he tried it. The movement was awkward and it wobbled only a few times around the table before stuttering to a stop before Nanao. 

He missed her initial reaction, distracted by Kensei patting him on the shoulder. The gesture was oddly commiserative. Or… encouraging? In the time it took him to stumble into the closet he still couldn’t account for the gesture. 

When the door was closed, Shuhei finally turned to face Nanao. She looked to be wound even tighter than her usual professional rigidity. 

“Are you ok?” He raised an eyebrow. 

“What? No- I’m fine. It’s fine. Why- why would you say that?” She babbled. 

“You seem a little… jumpy?” He offered. 

“You’re making me nervous.” She declared. 

“S-sorry, I’m still a little rattled from my last round.” He admitted. 

“No dirty tricks up your… lack of sleeves?” She gestured vaguely to his shoulders. 

“Sorry, give me a minute. I can turn on the charm.” He forced a grin. 

“Oh? I’d like to see that.” She laughed, neither of them sure if she was kidding.   
Shuhei straightened up to his full height, while Nanao shrank in surprise, her head barely reaching his chin. He planted one hand high on the wall behind her and leaned in. 

“Hey, baby. Come here often?” He smoldered, desperately fighting the reflex to laugh. 

“I- uh- a-a-a few times.” She played along, adjusting her glasses as an excuse to look away. He crept closer, chasing her movements as she backed into the wall. 

“Oh yeah? Wanna show a stranger how it’s done?” There was an expression meant to be delivered with this line that he was never sure he got right. It involved flicking the eyebrows up for an instant and placing the tip of the tongue between the front teeth and the lower lip. He’d seen women go crazy for it. But he’d also seen it fail spectacularly if not executed properly. Nanao, he realized, was a poor subject in her drunken state and he tried not to let her reaction affect his ego. 

“Oh…” Her eyes got wide as she took him seriously for the first time, color blooming across the bridge of her nose. He slanted a kiss across her lips, leaning too hard against her jaw. A break and a slight turn gave their lips a perfect and complete seal. Her hands were trembling when they landed on his chest, then curling into fists around his shirt. Lightly, he touched her cheek, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. His fingertips brushed the hollow below her ear, under her jaw, 

Quite suddenly she decided she’d had enough, pushing him away just enough to part their lips. He froze, confused and slightly dizzy, waiting for some kind of direction. 

“And just how many times has that routine worked for you?” She asked stiffly, adjusting her uniform despite it being in pristine order. 

“Including just now?” He considered. “Once.” 

“Ack!” Nanao squeaked, incredulous. “I can’t believe I fell for such a cheap tactic.” 

“Well, look at it this way.” Shuhei dropped his arm and backed off a step. “Now you’ll never fall for it again.” 

“I certainly won’t!” She pointed her finger at his face threateningly. 

“Hey, give me some credit.” He fired back, ready for a tirade about not trying the same trick twice. He was interrupted by the signal knock at the door and Nanao didn’t wait around to hear any more. 


	32. Renji x Mashiro

With the end of the evening in sight, everyone’s mood seemed to lift. It gave Renji hope for his last round. The bottle twirled happily before them, and Mashiro seemed equally happy when it pointed to her.   
Renji wasn’t sure what to expect when he closed the closet door. Her bubbly demeanor meant she couldn’t possibly be as demanding as Lisa or Sui Feng… right?

“How many tattoos do you have?” She dropped casually into his lap. 

“Huh? That’s not- It’s hard to say, I mean- It depends how you-” He fumbled, distracted by her hands in his face and, well, the rest of her body so close to his. 

“Did you get them done all at once?” She removed his sunglasses to look closer at the lines on his forehead. 

“What? No, of course not.” He balked at the thought. 

“Did it hurt?” She jabbed her finger against one. 

“Yes.” He replied flatly. Now he was getting annoyed. 

“These are cool, where did you get them?” Quick as that she was off on a new topic, sliding his sunglasses on her own face, upside down. He opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by her exclamation of wonder. “Oooooh~” She tilted her head back, leaning away, bridging her body until her head almost touched the floor. Renji’s mouth went dry. Her hips were _right there_ after all, and her breasts were pushed out so- no. He clamped his eyes shut and shook his head. 

“It’s so dark in here, what are you even pretending to see right now?” He said. 

“Hmm?” With an agonizing shift in her hips, she levered herself upright again. “Can I see the rest?” She removed her own shades from atop her head and placed them over his eyes.

“The rest of wha-?” The dark closet took on a bluish tint. It registered that they were back on the topic of his tattoos again when traced the bolts of black down his neck with one finger on each side. Heat travelled up his neck to pool high on his cheeks. The twinge of pride he held for his ink welled up and took over his mouth. “… yeah ok.” He slid his arms out of his shihakusho and let the top fall away to reveal the many interlocked lines on his torso.   
Mashiro traced the designs with symmetrical movements, her eyes wandering across his skin along with her fingers. Renji got the feeling she wasn’t really appreciating the artistry, but it was hard to be mad when her touch set his nerves on fire. The alternative that she was more interested in the sculpture of his muscles puffed up his ego even more. She examined his chest and arms, and he tried to pretend it didn’t tickle when she moved down to his ribs. 

“Any more?” She asked, bringing her face close to his. 

“Just my back.” He gestured. 

“Liar.” She pouted. “What about your legs?” 

“What, you want me to take my pants off?” He scoffed. 

“Why not?” She demanded. 

“We don’t have time.” He reasoned. 

“Why? Do you have lots on your legs? What about your butt?” She gasped, covering her mouth with both hands. “Do you have any _down th-_?” 

“Hey, look at that our time’s up, oh darn.” He scrambled at the sound of knocking, pulling his shirt back into place. 

“Aww, come on!” She whined. Renji burst out into the main room, confused for a moment by the sudden blue hue until he realized he was still wearing Mashiro’s glasses. 


	33. Byakuya x Sui Feng

Byakuya felt Renji flinch beside him at the result of his final turn of the bottle. Sui Feng sat across the table from them, looking tired. The initial swell of energy from drinking too much faded along with much of her uncharacteristic behavior. Now she looked as likely to fall asleep on him as to fall into his arms. She did liven up slightly when she realized the game was not yet over for her. 

They sat side by side against the furthest wall, not caring how much of each others’ personal space they appropriated in the process. If nothing else this game certainly managed to desensitize the officers to physical contact with one another. 

“And now we are come full circle, it seems.” Byakuya mused. 

“No, usually the booze is better.” Sui Feng pointed out. “Not to mention the view.” The two of them were known to get drunk together on occasion and vent about Yoruichi. Sitting on a porch at the Kuchiki estate and drinking sake from the Kuchiki stores was far better atmosphere. 

“Agreed.” He said. A lingering, contemplative silence followed as they both reflected inevitably on their common ground. 

“This kind of nonsense would be right up her alley.” Sui Feng observed. “She’ll be mad if she ever hears that we did something like this without her. ‘We’ as in the officers.” She clarified immediately. 

“Then she’ll be inconsolable if she learns about us specifically knowing she wasn’t here to witness.” He smiled slightly. “I can only imagine what she would say about us if she were out there right now.” 

“Probably something slanderous and embarrassing.” She shrugged. 

“I wonder if she’d believe something like that…” He wondered, revisiting his previous observations about believing the worst of people in this game. 

“Huh?” She didn’t follow. 

“I mean if someone-or even one of us told her that we did something scandalous.” He explained. Sui Feng’s face went through a contemplative journey but didn’t seem to settle on an answer. 

“If I ever get the chance, I’ll tell her just so I can see her reaction.” She snickered. 

“Hm. Then I’ll deny it just to confuse her.” He allowed a small laugh. 

“The most convincing lies have a sliver of truth.” A wicked grin spread across her face. “I could use a few… memorable details.” Byakuya raised a dubious eyebrow but didn’t try to stop her as she climbed on to his lap. She braced her hands on his shoulders and laid a noncommittal kiss across his lips. At least, it started that way. Her expression was so changed in the instant he closed his eyes it was unrecognizable. Surprise was not a face she wore often. It must have been the sake that contrived the sensation like a spark. It must have.

Still he reached up, barely touching her chin with thumb and forefinger. She was starved for the softness he offered and leaned in hungrily to take more. Their lips moved together in rhythm while her hands crept up his neck to cup his face. He allowed his hands to fall to her knees where they lay astride his hips, his thumbs absently drawing circles on the soft hollows there. Her tongue flashed across his upper lip, as if by accident. In return he closed his lips on her lower lip, offering the barest touch of suction. 

“You can do better than that.” She scoffed quietly. 

“I can.” He agreed. 

“… But you won’t.” She let her weight settle back and away. 

“This is all hypothetical, anyway. Anything more and I’ll have difficulty refuting your story. You’re welcome to fabricate something more satisfactory.” He smiled. She frowned. 

“Byakuya Kuchiki with a deplorable excess of chivalry is the easiest thing in the world to believe.” She returned to her position beside him and slumped against his shoulder, now in very real danger of falling asleep. 

“Shall I wake you when our time is up, or shall I carry you home and put you to bed?” He offered. 

“You fucking touch me and I’ll cut your hand off.” Sui Feng snapped. 

“That’s what I thought.” He smiled again. 


	34. Rukia x Shinji

Rukia swallowed hard. This was it- her last turn. _The_ last turn of the night. If she could survive the next seven minutes, they could all go home at long last. Decisively, she spun the bottle. A few wobbling passes and it rolled to a stop, pointing at Shinji. He flashed a toothy grin and pushed himself to his feet. She was quick to do the same. The sooner the timer started, the sooner it ended.

Closed in the closet and standing face to face, Shinji offered a wink that felt as if it should have been accompanied by a tongue click and finger guns. Rukia closed her eyes to stop herself from rolling them. Now that he was a captain again she really did try to take him seriously, but the accounts of his behavior from her friends in Karakura town were hard to ignore. Granted, some of them were heavily biased to the negative, as from Ichigo, or obviously sugar-coated, as from Orihime. Her own contact with him had been limited enough so far. Sometimes all she could see was the goofy transfer student who caused a scene every other day at Karakura High School.

“Y’know Rukia… I never told you this, but you were my first lo-” He tried to lean in. 

“Save it.” She cut him off by shoving her whole hand in his face and pushing away.

“S-so heartless…” He whimpered. “No sympathy for a lonely heart?” 

“Is that what you call yourself?” She raised an eyebrow. 

“Alright, you caught me.” The act fell. “So that’s it? No chance yer gonna humor me even a little?”

“Oh I’ll humor you.” She smirked. “But you have to know that’s all I’m doing. Can’t have your ego getting over-inflated in this tiny space.” She wrinkled her nose. 

“Yeah, there’s… there’s no danger of that happening.” He reflected. “I’m gonna have nightmares about this closet… unless you wanna sweeten it up for me, eh Sugar?” He grinned again and slouched to her level. She was achingly curious what he meant but didn’t think he would tell her. 

_Kiss and tell, maybe…_ Rukia squeezed his bony jaw between her thumb and first two fingers, effectively removing the smile from his face and closing his mouth enough to kiss. Surprise made him flinch away, but only a fraction. Then he chuckled, the vibrations from his throat moving through his lips to hers, and pushed back. She loosened her grip, smoothing her fingers gently over his cheek. Shinji did the same, his touch travelling over her jaw and along her hairline, eventually cupping the back of her neck. 

Angling her head up allowed him to step closer, but she refused to stand on her toes. His weakened equilibrium couldn’t keep up. They overbalanced, but didn’t fall. His hands landed on the wall to either side of her head, steadying him to kiss her more ardently. The long sleeves of his captain’s jacket enveloped her and suddenly she felt hot. The alcohol seemed to thicken in her veins, tightening her muscles. 

“You ok?” He stopped suddenly. She hadn’t realized she was teetering to one side. 

“… Too much sake.” She managed. 

“That makes all of us.” He smirked. “C’mon. Let’s get you some fresh air.” He put an arm around her shoulder and steered for the door. 

They found the main room in a much different state than when hey left it. Everyone was standing in anticipation of the party’s end, milling about and chatting to fill the scarce moments as the clock wound down. 

There wasn’t much in the way of goodbyes, they were too ready to leave. They poured out Rangiku’s front door en masse, stumbling and shuffling on to the street and off in the general direction of their own homes and beds. 

“Man am I gonna regret this in the morning.” Ikkaku rubbed his head tiredly.

“And I don’t just mean the drinking.”

“There’s no need to worry about that.” Mayuri said. Something in his tone rang as off. 

“What do you mean by that, Kurotsuchi?” Shinji narrowed his eyes. 

“It’s quite simple, really. I have insured that no memory of this ridiculous game lives to embarrass a single one of us.” He waved his hand noncommittally. 

“And just how did you do that?” Shinji pried. 

“Why must I explain even the simplest of things to you people?” Mayuri sighed. “Once I realized how dangerous such a game could be I slipped a serum of my own invention into the communal sake bottle. Not that I’d expect any of you to notice, even if you weren’t hopelessly inebriated.” 

“You drugged us?!” Izuru exclaimed, whipping around and stopping in the middle of the street. 

“Not precisely, no.” Mayuri continued past him as if he weren’t there. “It’s a little something I normally use in the unlikely case an opponent were to escape after fighting me to prevent them telling my secrets. It reacts with the adrenal responses and blocks memories from being encoded in the mind.” 

“So…” Shinji tried to understand despite his drunk and tired state. “We won’t remember the whole night?” 

“No, weren’t you listening?” He rolled his eyes. “The serum only works when the subject is in a heightened emotional state, such as combat.” 

“So we’ll only forget the good parts. I see how it is.” Shinji’s mouth formed a hard line dangerously close to a pout. 

“That’s… probably for the best.” Isane commented from behind them. 

“Yes, but a dosage that diluted probably won’t take full effect until after the subject has slept.” Mayuri considered. “So your last and only chance to make anything out of tonight’s events would be tonight.”

“Fuck that, I’m tired.” Shinji groaned and turned down the street towards his barracks. There were general mutters of agreement as the rest of the group dispersed. Once they were alone on the path to the Kuchiki manor, Rukia thought she heard something like a chuckle from Byakuya. 

“Hmm? Did you say something, brother?” She looked up at him to see a knowing smirk on his lips. 

“No, I was just thinking.” He said. “It’s very possible that Captain Kurotsuchi didn’t put anything in the sake at all. His revealing that he did only gives another layer of deniability. Whether we remember or not, we can all wake up tomorrow and pretend none of this happened.” Rukia didn’t quite understand. “Yes, this has been an insightful evening, indeed…” 


	35. Illustrations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I did some doodles based on the top chapters when they were originally posted on tumblr.


End file.
